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Parent Emeritus
A very bad day
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748316" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>If you read the AA website it will say that anybody, family, professors, students, etc. can attend open meetings.</p><p></p><p>I can't explain it. I learn EVERYTHING at the meetings. The people there feel like they are ME and some share that they identify with me. The focus is upon belonging, the submerging of individual differences, of ego, of becoming one with the group. And this I feel. It helps me move beyond who I am. They know very little about me, all of the things that I have done. All of the things, that I believe set me apart and make me feel special. Because that's the point. The things I identify with that make me feel special, are empty and false things. It's very hard to explain.</p><p></p><p>You could say what you've shared here. That you have come to feel empty and fragile, and have lost your strength. That what brought you here is the fear of rejection by your daughter. That you have come to feel powerless in your life, because of this (this is the first step, of 12 steps....) And that you are searching for a way, for a place, to begin to feel whole. (All of which I have read in your posts.) You can say...<em>I don't think I am an alcoholic, but I have surely felt addicted to my daughter's love.....I am here to learn who I am.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>All of this, I have read in your posts.</p><p></p><p>As to what I share: Friday I shared that my cat is very sick. And I cried. I said that<em> I came there because when I do I felt happy and supported and I that I belonged. And that even if I felt afraid, that I could imagine the possibility of feeling safe by coming.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>The day before I shared that<em> I loved coming and I felt whole there. But that this was a double edged sword because by coming, I brought my whole self, and my whole self felt fragile and afraid, and afraid that they would not want me.</em> I just tell the truth.</p><p></p><p>It takes guts. But I feel good knowing there is somewhere I can go to be with people where I can seek wholeness. And for that hour feel whole.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748316, member: 18958"] If you read the AA website it will say that anybody, family, professors, students, etc. can attend open meetings. I can't explain it. I learn EVERYTHING at the meetings. The people there feel like they are ME and some share that they identify with me. The focus is upon belonging, the submerging of individual differences, of ego, of becoming one with the group. And this I feel. It helps me move beyond who I am. They know very little about me, all of the things that I have done. All of the things, that I believe set me apart and make me feel special. Because that's the point. The things I identify with that make me feel special, are empty and false things. It's very hard to explain. You could say what you've shared here. That you have come to feel empty and fragile, and have lost your strength. That what brought you here is the fear of rejection by your daughter. That you have come to feel powerless in your life, because of this (this is the first step, of 12 steps....) And that you are searching for a way, for a place, to begin to feel whole. (All of which I have read in your posts.) You can say...[I]I don't think I am an alcoholic, but I have surely felt addicted to my daughter's love.....I am here to learn who I am. [/I] All of this, I have read in your posts. As to what I share: Friday I shared that my cat is very sick. And I cried. I said that[I] I came there because when I do I felt happy and supported and I that I belonged. And that even if I felt afraid, that I could imagine the possibility of feeling safe by coming. [/I] The day before I shared that[I] I loved coming and I felt whole there. But that this was a double edged sword because by coming, I brought my whole self, and my whole self felt fragile and afraid, and afraid that they would not want me.[/I] I just tell the truth. It takes guts. But I feel good knowing there is somewhere I can go to be with people where I can seek wholeness. And for that hour feel whole. [/QUOTE]
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A very bad day
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