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Substance Abuse
A View From The Other Side (Fairly Long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 687487" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Thank you, Darkwing. I believed that, but I was only taking it on faith.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you, Darkwing.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you. This makes sense.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Therapists have said those exact words. I could not hear them in the way I hear you.</p><p></p><p>Thank you. Not a matter of erasing guilt so much as putting the entire experience ~ the loss of trust, the rotten certainty that I had failed my kids somehow. You are addressing every bit of it. The questions I had hidden away from myself, too.</p><p></p><p>And just think. I hardly ever read in SA anymore. I am very glad I saw your post.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That's alot of money.</p><p></p><p>What a horrible place to find ourselves.</p><p></p><p>I am coming to understand how all these pieces fit for my own family, Darkwing. When we don't know this factual stuff about how it feels and how the person who is addicted feels, the only feeling left is ~ well, I don't know what it is.</p><p></p><p>I feel like I have a map, now. For what's happened to all of us, I mean.</p><p></p><p>I keep saying thank you.</p><p></p><p>All these years, I could not put the pieces together properly. It was all so hurtful and wrong, and I couldn't figure out why it kept happening. The way my son especially seemed to see us and himself, and his anger and the way he talked to us and seemed to trick us ~ the betrayal in that was devastating. We felt so stupid. Or like we were suckers or something like that feeling. Whatever we did seemed to have been the wrong thing, and we were hopeless. And felt so nasty about him sometimes. And that felt so wrong, too, and made us sad. The way you describe for us so honestly what it feels like from the child's perspective has made such a difference for me. I will be talking to my husband about your insights. And to our extended families too, because they also tried very hard to help.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Whenever I see a young person who seems homeless and has that drug taking look, I think about my own kids, and about the person's mom. But I hated them a little bit, too. </p><p></p><p>I did not know about how the trap was constructed, or what it looked like from inside.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 687487, member: 17461"] Thank you, Darkwing. I believed that, but I was only taking it on faith. Thank you, Darkwing. Thank you. This makes sense. Therapists have said those exact words. I could not hear them in the way I hear you. Thank you. Not a matter of erasing guilt so much as putting the entire experience ~ the loss of trust, the rotten certainty that I had failed my kids somehow. You are addressing every bit of it. The questions I had hidden away from myself, too. And just think. I hardly ever read in SA anymore. I am very glad I saw your post. That's alot of money. What a horrible place to find ourselves. I am coming to understand how all these pieces fit for my own family, Darkwing. When we don't know this factual stuff about how it feels and how the person who is addicted feels, the only feeling left is ~ well, I don't know what it is. I feel like I have a map, now. For what's happened to all of us, I mean. I keep saying thank you. All these years, I could not put the pieces together properly. It was all so hurtful and wrong, and I couldn't figure out why it kept happening. The way my son especially seemed to see us and himself, and his anger and the way he talked to us and seemed to trick us ~ the betrayal in that was devastating. We felt so stupid. Or like we were suckers or something like that feeling. Whatever we did seemed to have been the wrong thing, and we were hopeless. And felt so nasty about him sometimes. And that felt so wrong, too, and made us sad. The way you describe for us so honestly what it feels like from the child's perspective has made such a difference for me. I will be talking to my husband about your insights. And to our extended families too, because they also tried very hard to help. Thank you. Cedar Whenever I see a young person who seems homeless and has that drug taking look, I think about my own kids, and about the person's mom. But I hated them a little bit, too. I did not know about how the trap was constructed, or what it looked like from inside. [/QUOTE]
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