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A visit from my son
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 739729" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>It is a balancing act. One I feel I have been doing for a long time. I think the important thing is that they know you love them and you can show them that in many ways and yet still keep good boundaries for you. So the important thing is to figure out wha tyou are comfortable doing for him and what you are not..... and if you start feeling like he is asking you for something you are not comfortable with then be attuned to the manipulation that may be starting to happen.</p><p></p><p>Definitely dont give him money.....taking him out for a meal is good. Giving him some food here and there is ok. If he is in a program talk to them and see what they think is appropriate. I do think family support is important in the process of recovery.... but sometimes they use that as a way to maniupulate you into giving them what they want.... and sometimes it is just what they say, family support.</p><p></p><p>I think one of the ways we get sucked in is that it becomes really important to us for them to be and stay sober... more important to us than to them. That is a red flag in a way. I have found that to some extent I have had to let go of his sobriety... that is or isnt his.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 739729, member: 15801"] It is a balancing act. One I feel I have been doing for a long time. I think the important thing is that they know you love them and you can show them that in many ways and yet still keep good boundaries for you. So the important thing is to figure out wha tyou are comfortable doing for him and what you are not..... and if you start feeling like he is asking you for something you are not comfortable with then be attuned to the manipulation that may be starting to happen. Definitely dont give him money.....taking him out for a meal is good. Giving him some food here and there is ok. If he is in a program talk to them and see what they think is appropriate. I do think family support is important in the process of recovery.... but sometimes they use that as a way to maniupulate you into giving them what they want.... and sometimes it is just what they say, family support. I think one of the ways we get sucked in is that it becomes really important to us for them to be and stay sober... more important to us than to them. That is a red flag in a way. I have found that to some extent I have had to let go of his sobriety... that is or isnt his. [/QUOTE]
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A visit from my son
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