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Substance Abuse
Abandonment issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 743867" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>My sons, being boys, I don't think are capable of grasping the complexities these situations represent for a biomom. In their minds its "I don't care" who the biodad was, I just want to meet her and my sibs. "I don't care" how she got preg or who he is. But if I were a biomom I wouldn't be interested in any contact until I knew how to answer these questions and explain it to the sibs. So what they may see as rejection I see as complexities that will be irrelevant in 10 years. When all the sibs are fully mature it will be easier. What grandma did 30+ years ago doesn't have the impact of what she did when I was little or not long before I was born. This is part of my logic for not pursuing a woman who denies it and another who will face anger.</p><p></p><p>This doesn't make my kids happy now. My narrative to them doesn't include how biomom and dad met. They see me as non-supportive in their search. I see it as a timing issue.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 743867, member: 23371"] My sons, being boys, I don't think are capable of grasping the complexities these situations represent for a biomom. In their minds its "I don't care" who the biodad was, I just want to meet her and my sibs. "I don't care" how she got preg or who he is. But if I were a biomom I wouldn't be interested in any contact until I knew how to answer these questions and explain it to the sibs. So what they may see as rejection I see as complexities that will be irrelevant in 10 years. When all the sibs are fully mature it will be easier. What grandma did 30+ years ago doesn't have the impact of what she did when I was little or not long before I was born. This is part of my logic for not pursuing a woman who denies it and another who will face anger. This doesn't make my kids happy now. My narrative to them doesn't include how biomom and dad met. They see me as non-supportive in their search. I see it as a timing issue. [/QUOTE]
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