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abuse - or - not
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 319495"><p>I'm so sorry. I am familiar with- your anguish.</p><p>Our son went to a program and it was a very weird situation.</p><p>It was a good program, but the owner was somewhat abusive to our son.</p><p>They had a personality clash and we found out much later that the owner had been drinking. So, there were periods of time that in my humble opinion, the owner was out of line with- our son. We doubled checked his behavior with- a professional in town and she agreed that his behavior was out of line.</p><p>HOWEVER, that being said, even with this oddity, the overall program DID help our son. </p><p>The consequences for inappropriate behaviors, etc. all seem to help him "get the picture." It was when the owner <strong>singled our son out</strong>...that no one appreciated it and we ended up pulling our son because of it. </p><p>The other consequences were evenly distributed and that seem to "work" in terms of our son understanding/learning that when you break the rules it will "cost you."</p><p>I hope this wasn't toooo confusing for you.</p><p>Bottom line:</p><p>If everyone gets <strong>the same consequences</strong> for inappropriate behaviors...it is probably okay.</p><p>And as long as your son isn't being told that he is worthless or can't get to a better place with personal effort....it is probably okay. </p><p>As long as your son isn't being physically hurt...it is probably okay.</p><p>Most, if not all of these kids have exhibited rather extreme behaviors and these programs are using somewhat extreme techniques to try to save these kids.</p><p>Our son did not have a truly extreme problem going in...but he was definately headed there.</p><p>Today, he is ULTRA RESPONSIBLE...graduating from college with- honors, happy, responsible, caring and a very hard worker.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 319495"] I'm so sorry. I am familiar with- your anguish. Our son went to a program and it was a very weird situation. It was a good program, but the owner was somewhat abusive to our son. They had a personality clash and we found out much later that the owner had been drinking. So, there were periods of time that in my humble opinion, the owner was out of line with- our son. We doubled checked his behavior with- a professional in town and she agreed that his behavior was out of line. HOWEVER, that being said, even with this oddity, the overall program DID help our son. The consequences for inappropriate behaviors, etc. all seem to help him "get the picture." It was when the owner [B]singled our son out[/B]...that no one appreciated it and we ended up pulling our son because of it. The other consequences were evenly distributed and that seem to "work" in terms of our son understanding/learning that when you break the rules it will "cost you." I hope this wasn't toooo confusing for you. Bottom line: If everyone gets [B]the same consequences[/B] for inappropriate behaviors...it is probably okay. And as long as your son isn't being told that he is worthless or can't get to a better place with personal effort....it is probably okay. As long as your son isn't being physically hurt...it is probably okay. Most, if not all of these kids have exhibited rather extreme behaviors and these programs are using somewhat extreme techniques to try to save these kids. Our son did not have a truly extreme problem going in...but he was definately headed there. Today, he is ULTRA RESPONSIBLE...graduating from college with- honors, happy, responsible, caring and a very hard worker. [/QUOTE]
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