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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 701862" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I think the way you're thinking is healthy and positive. If moving is something you really want, for YOU, then I say, go for it. Not only has the time as a child passed for him, the time of parenting has passed for you. </p><p></p><p>My suggestion to you would be to continue planning your life YOUR way. Do what makes you happy, what brings you joy. Focus on yourself, make yourself THE priority. Get as much support as you can for your new life. Every single day, do something kind for YOU. </p><p></p><p>I moved out of the town I had lived in for 32 years, 2 years ago. It put a 30 minute distance between my daughter and myself and it's amazing what a difference that made. I was no longer "right there." After I retired I was a tad lost in space for awhile, but now, after 10 months, I'm feeling so much more energy and motivation......so much weight has been lifted off of me in recent years that I had to get used to walking around without it. I started a very healthy diet regiment which I wouldn't have done when I was in the throes of so much enabling.......and began doing a lot of hiking and working out.......I learned a whole new way of cooking and I'm probably the healthiest and in the best shape I've been in for a long time. Putting the focus on ourselves brings many rewards.</p><p></p><p>It's said that addictions arrest development and if your son has been addicted for a long time, he likely <u>has</u> lost a lot of time...but you've motored through it all and as you said, adjusted. And you'll continue to adjust, as I have......and I believe a very different kind of life will emerge for you.......as it is emerging for me. Keep doing what you're doing, you're making good progress and that progress will continue to lead you to the next step as you make these life changes. Your task, in my opinion, is to worry less about how it's going to turn out for your kids and to keep setting strong boundaries........the rest will happen without any control and you can trust yourself to do what is appropriate when the time comes to recover family relations. Perhaps writing your son how you presently feel will help you, only you can know that.</p><p></p><p>You're doing a really great job Jodie.....I'm impressed. It's our time now........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 701862, member: 13542"] I think the way you're thinking is healthy and positive. If moving is something you really want, for YOU, then I say, go for it. Not only has the time as a child passed for him, the time of parenting has passed for you. My suggestion to you would be to continue planning your life YOUR way. Do what makes you happy, what brings you joy. Focus on yourself, make yourself THE priority. Get as much support as you can for your new life. Every single day, do something kind for YOU. I moved out of the town I had lived in for 32 years, 2 years ago. It put a 30 minute distance between my daughter and myself and it's amazing what a difference that made. I was no longer "right there." After I retired I was a tad lost in space for awhile, but now, after 10 months, I'm feeling so much more energy and motivation......so much weight has been lifted off of me in recent years that I had to get used to walking around without it. I started a very healthy diet regiment which I wouldn't have done when I was in the throes of so much enabling.......and began doing a lot of hiking and working out.......I learned a whole new way of cooking and I'm probably the healthiest and in the best shape I've been in for a long time. Putting the focus on ourselves brings many rewards. It's said that addictions arrest development and if your son has been addicted for a long time, he likely [U]has[/U] lost a lot of time...but you've motored through it all and as you said, adjusted. And you'll continue to adjust, as I have......and I believe a very different kind of life will emerge for you.......as it is emerging for me. Keep doing what you're doing, you're making good progress and that progress will continue to lead you to the next step as you make these life changes. Your task, in my opinion, is to worry less about how it's going to turn out for your kids and to keep setting strong boundaries........the rest will happen without any control and you can trust yourself to do what is appropriate when the time comes to recover family relations. Perhaps writing your son how you presently feel will help you, only you can know that. You're doing a really great job Jodie.....I'm impressed. It's our time now........ [/QUOTE]
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