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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 701871" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Yes it can. What I found as I began changing is that I had to address every situation and issue newly, I could not rely on my old way of responding, so I had to really give each issue a lot of consideration and usually would ask my husband or my girlfriend or a therapist if I was in therapy at the time, "are there any holes in my thinking?" Because I was in the middle of that shift you're talking about.......and getting input was invaluable because it would shoot me out of the old behavior and allow me to see a different way I could respond. Over time I got better at it. It is clearly a process after you've been enabling for a long time, as you and I have been. I still struggle sometimes, perhaps I always will, but now I have support and a tool box of resources to use when I falter. It's okay to falter, you can correct it, you can get a "do over" ......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 701871, member: 13542"] Yes it can. What I found as I began changing is that I had to address every situation and issue newly, I could not rely on my old way of responding, so I had to really give each issue a lot of consideration and usually would ask my husband or my girlfriend or a therapist if I was in therapy at the time, "are there any holes in my thinking?" Because I was in the middle of that shift you're talking about.......and getting input was invaluable because it would shoot me out of the old behavior and allow me to see a different way I could respond. Over time I got better at it. It is clearly a process after you've been enabling for a long time, as you and I have been. I still struggle sometimes, perhaps I always will, but now I have support and a tool box of resources to use when I falter. It's okay to falter, you can correct it, you can get a "do over" ...... [/QUOTE]
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