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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 670265" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>Grandma to a boy (4th grade), defiant, ADHD, anxiety. His divorced mom works a lot, so my husband and I do lots of the care taking. It's been a journey of ups and downs and "what the hecks" for us. We did the "medication wash" thing over the summer and saw amazing weight and height gains, better sleeping and eating. But, there were no demands being made like in school, and focus wasn't an issue (we know he can focus for hours on his iPad). The anxiety piece was causing the most meltdowns, causing the social isolation as a result of the meltdowns. He's a loving, smart, wonderful kid, but school is kind of awful for him because of the sort of underground bullying. </p><p></p><p>After 4 years, his doctors decided that stimulants weren't helping him (and we tried so many). He's doing better now, kind of, on non-stimulant therapy (guanfacine and Strattera), although is focus at school is problematical because he wants to do what he wants to do, period. He's not getting much work done at all and his academics, which was always an area of strength for him are starting to suffer. He reads at a high school level and can spell better than most adults, but math reduces him to tears and shredding the papers up almost instantly. He has never been on any anti-anxiety medication (although the guanfacine has been suggested to help with this). And he's never been on a special diet. We do limit sodas, food dyes, and excessive sugar (this kid LOVES carbs). He's such a finicky eater that we had to let some of that go. We're happy if we can get him to eat much of anything healthy at all. He would live on corn dogs and pizza if we served it every day.</p><p></p><p>As for consequences, he gets suspended at school frequently (another long story) and we found that consequences at home too, his safe place, just put him over the top. We wait until a good time, when he seems calm and more likely to be communicative, to talk things over and offer alternatives to the way he handled things, etc. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. But, stuff does go in and stick, even when we can't see evidence of it at the time, so we keep gently trying.</p><p></p><p>Our kids' journeys are all so individual, as I'm sure you know. You will get lots of support and good ideas here. It's a great bunch of people.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 670265, member: 13260"] Grandma to a boy (4th grade), defiant, ADHD, anxiety. His divorced mom works a lot, so my husband and I do lots of the care taking. It's been a journey of ups and downs and "what the hecks" for us. We did the "medication wash" thing over the summer and saw amazing weight and height gains, better sleeping and eating. But, there were no demands being made like in school, and focus wasn't an issue (we know he can focus for hours on his iPad). The anxiety piece was causing the most meltdowns, causing the social isolation as a result of the meltdowns. He's a loving, smart, wonderful kid, but school is kind of awful for him because of the sort of underground bullying. After 4 years, his doctors decided that stimulants weren't helping him (and we tried so many). He's doing better now, kind of, on non-stimulant therapy (guanfacine and Strattera), although is focus at school is problematical because he wants to do what he wants to do, period. He's not getting much work done at all and his academics, which was always an area of strength for him are starting to suffer. He reads at a high school level and can spell better than most adults, but math reduces him to tears and shredding the papers up almost instantly. He has never been on any anti-anxiety medication (although the guanfacine has been suggested to help with this). And he's never been on a special diet. We do limit sodas, food dyes, and excessive sugar (this kid LOVES carbs). He's such a finicky eater that we had to let some of that go. We're happy if we can get him to eat much of anything healthy at all. He would live on corn dogs and pizza if we served it every day. As for consequences, he gets suspended at school frequently (another long story) and we found that consequences at home too, his safe place, just put him over the top. We wait until a good time, when he seems calm and more likely to be communicative, to talk things over and offer alternatives to the way he handled things, etc. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. But, stuff does go in and stick, even when we can't see evidence of it at the time, so we keep gently trying. Our kids' journeys are all so individual, as I'm sure you know. You will get lots of support and good ideas here. It's a great bunch of people. [/QUOTE]
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