Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
ADHD Kindergartener mom fustrated and venting.. any others out there?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="michie87" data-source="post: 458111" data-attributes="member: 12732"><p>So, I had ADHD. And so did his sperm donor. So when the signs started appearing it was not a big surprise to me and my husband. We did a lot of </p><p>research ourselves and taught ourselves better responses and better choices towards teaching and helping him, discipline, and just being with him and being </p><p>able to handle it all. I'd say we did pretty good as parents for the most part. Before he ever went to preschool, he knew his ABC's by sight and 1-10, shapes </p><p>and colors, and much much more</p><p></p><p>When L was 4 his pediatrician noticed he was always walking on his tippy toes. She determined that it was due to short </p><p>tendons in his heels and ankles. So she recommended he go to kids of the future to get therapy on it. He qualified there for physical and occupational therapy </p><p>and was aloud to attend preschool there as well. This was really good on him as far as social skills and whatnot goes. And because they were used to working </p><p>with special needs kids, teaching him was easy to them. They informed me one day they thought he needed to be tested for ADHD and I began telling them we already </p><p>realized this. They couldn't do the testing themselves, but recommended we see his pediatrician. So that was our next step. She informed us she didn't like to </p><p>do the testing before 6 yrs. old and that she thought he was fine. She told us we might try a special center like the schmittings center so we did. They wanted </p><p>a doctor or elementary school recommendation so I requested it. Next we knew the Doctors office was calling stating that they sent the recommendation and it was </p><p>sent back because of his age. Every turn we made was a dead end. So, frustrated, I realized I wouldn't be able to get him help until kindergarten and that was </p><p>arrogating because we didn't want him to have to go through this struggle in front of all his new classmates. The doctor also informed me not to inform the </p><p>elementary school of any of this. That he might just "adjust" and be ok with it all. I knew different but I followed suit thinking doctors knew </p><p>best...</p><p></p><p></p><p>First day of school.. By 11am I had already received calls from the principal. Spent half the day on the phone with her at my work. Then </p><p>finally at 2 they requested I come get L because he had all he could take. We had a long conference there and decided to keep him on half days until he </p><p>could adjust. I told her my story and they said ok, we will get in touch with his doctor. When they did, she told him that he was just fine and didn't need </p><p>help. They begged and pleaded with her and even invited her to come sit with him at the school and see for herself. Her recommendation was to send him back to </p><p>preschool for another year. "Like hell!" I thought. So I immediately switched doctors to one that would help. The next day I had a Conners test in hand and an </p><p>appointment 3 days later. I was so happy that I had finally found someone who believed us. </p><p></p><p>He was indeed diagnosed with ADHD. We decided to place him on Daytrana (the patch) at the lowest mg and see how it went. We immediately saw </p><p>changes at home. He was able to focus, he sat through an entire meal, he played nicely instead of stingily. But he was still L. The personality wasn't lost </p><p>as it is so much with stimulant medications. The school didn't see improvement the first day and started voicing that strongly. I told them look, were seeing it, </p><p>just give it a chance to work. The next 3 days we got great reports! He was getting better every day. Then for some reason it went down hill and fast. The </p><p>school discussed the the doctor what was going on and the doctor called them back and made an appointment. I was like WTH? I gave them all permission to converse </p><p>so that we can get Landon the best help out there, not permission to make my appointments. So the doctor and I, and the school and I had a very long talk. When </p><p>we went to the appointment I made sure the doctor knew they were the only ones seeing this problem. He didn't act they way they said at home or at the other </p><p>school (which he is still attending in the afternoons when he gets out of elementary). We came up with a behavior folder in which both schools and us </p><p>at home leave daily reports so that all parties know what's going on and for the doctor to read as well. Plus this also gives us a chance to discuss it with </p><p>L and let him know mommy and daddy are reading this stuff and he will get in trouble if seen fit. These notes state L's actions minute for minute.. </p><p>Which I was not expecting. They talk of him screaming out, being impulsive, hitting people, climbing on the counters and such.. This is not my son. He is </p><p>hyper yes, and has a very hard time focusing on anything... But he doesn't act out like this. So I'm starting to wonder why...</p><p></p><p>>One statment said "he was cutting out a design and got very fustrated, slammed his scissors down </p><p>and said grrrrrrr" I was like ok... thats because he is left handed and you stupid people havent listened when I said he has special scisorrs he is </p><p>suposed to be using (problem solved)</p><p>>Another said "We were in time out in the hall because timeout in the room wasnt working. Once it was done we </p><p>started walking back to the class and the child proceeded to hit me and say My tummy hurts." Im like hello! He is 5!! He wasnt hitting you, he was </p><p>tapping you and telling you he was hungry. And thats violent?!? </p><p>> We cant forget the phone call I recieved about the firetruck.. Which incidently wasn't even a firetruck it was an ambulance. Apparently one went by with the </p><p>sirens on and L got very excited and ran to the window to watch. Then began telling his classmates to look. 5 People, 5! What 5 y.o. doesn't </p><p>think that thats kool and exciting?</p><p></p><p>Then they sent home homework (which was class work that they said he couldnt focus on to do) We sat down and worked out </p><p>the 2 worksheets. One was on patterns and the other on diferenciation numbers and letters. He blazed through them like nothing. Then we moved on to the color, </p><p>cut and glue activity which took a lot more time to do. There was alot to it. He managed just fine and didnt even get fustrated with cutting it out (which is </p><p>unusual before the patch) The only part he struggled on was cutting out eyelashes because if you cut too far it'l cut the eyelid in half. A normal kid </p><p>would have had a hard time with that..He sat for 45 min undistracted and unfustrated and did his homework with very little direction from me. I know </p><p>theres less distractions at home but never-the-less 45min is a lo0ng time.</p><p></p><p>Knowing all this, the doctor (very skeptically) bumped him up to the 15 mg patch to see if it would help more in school. He instructed me that if </p><p>for any reason it looks like too much or changes his personality or causes him to be robotic then to just pull the patch off and let him know and we would go </p><p>with the plan B we came up with. The very first day of the patch they call to inform me that there is no change. Once again I have to explain to them that it </p><p>takes a few days to fully get in his system to reep the benifits.. Im very fustrated with having to AGAIN explain this to them. Im fustrated with the fact </p><p>that we are seeing the changes at home and the other school is too but the new elementary isnt. We were so excited to have a support group wit this school and </p><p>some people to help us out because usually schools will just send them back for another preschool year, not wanting to deal with it. But, not Im seriously </p><p>starting to question their judgment and their idea of misbehaved. When he tries hard and still getting in trouble after awhile wouldnt he just get so fustrated </p><p>that trying isnt an option anymore?</p><p></p><p>Well, L made it to the special Alternative exucation class finally! So thats exciting. Its just a class no bigget then 12 kids with 2 teachers so that theres less ditractions and more one on one time. He startes that tuesday and I hope this does well for him. Between work and hom and caring for my grams and the school, I'm spent. I knew it was going to be this dificult and thats why I tryed to get it done before Kindergarten so he would have an easier time of it all. I fear the other kids </p><p>will shun him away as the bad kid now and I fear the school will continue to have their expectations for him way too high. Its just all fustrating. I just </p><p>wrote this to vent a little to people who might be expierencing some of the same things. Comment if you'd like. Give ideas or advice or just share your storie </p><p>too. Id love to have a small group of people to talk to about stuff like this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="michie87, post: 458111, member: 12732"] So, I had ADHD. And so did his sperm donor. So when the signs started appearing it was not a big surprise to me and my husband. We did a lot of research ourselves and taught ourselves better responses and better choices towards teaching and helping him, discipline, and just being with him and being able to handle it all. I'd say we did pretty good as parents for the most part. Before he ever went to preschool, he knew his ABC's by sight and 1-10, shapes and colors, and much much more When L was 4 his pediatrician noticed he was always walking on his tippy toes. She determined that it was due to short tendons in his heels and ankles. So she recommended he go to kids of the future to get therapy on it. He qualified there for physical and occupational therapy and was aloud to attend preschool there as well. This was really good on him as far as social skills and whatnot goes. And because they were used to working with special needs kids, teaching him was easy to them. They informed me one day they thought he needed to be tested for ADHD and I began telling them we already realized this. They couldn't do the testing themselves, but recommended we see his pediatrician. So that was our next step. She informed us she didn't like to do the testing before 6 yrs. old and that she thought he was fine. She told us we might try a special center like the schmittings center so we did. They wanted a doctor or elementary school recommendation so I requested it. Next we knew the Doctors office was calling stating that they sent the recommendation and it was sent back because of his age. Every turn we made was a dead end. So, frustrated, I realized I wouldn't be able to get him help until kindergarten and that was arrogating because we didn't want him to have to go through this struggle in front of all his new classmates. The doctor also informed me not to inform the elementary school of any of this. That he might just "adjust" and be ok with it all. I knew different but I followed suit thinking doctors knew best... First day of school.. By 11am I had already received calls from the principal. Spent half the day on the phone with her at my work. Then finally at 2 they requested I come get L because he had all he could take. We had a long conference there and decided to keep him on half days until he could adjust. I told her my story and they said ok, we will get in touch with his doctor. When they did, she told him that he was just fine and didn't need help. They begged and pleaded with her and even invited her to come sit with him at the school and see for herself. Her recommendation was to send him back to preschool for another year. "Like hell!" I thought. So I immediately switched doctors to one that would help. The next day I had a Conners test in hand and an appointment 3 days later. I was so happy that I had finally found someone who believed us. He was indeed diagnosed with ADHD. We decided to place him on Daytrana (the patch) at the lowest mg and see how it went. We immediately saw changes at home. He was able to focus, he sat through an entire meal, he played nicely instead of stingily. But he was still L. The personality wasn't lost as it is so much with stimulant medications. The school didn't see improvement the first day and started voicing that strongly. I told them look, were seeing it, just give it a chance to work. The next 3 days we got great reports! He was getting better every day. Then for some reason it went down hill and fast. The school discussed the the doctor what was going on and the doctor called them back and made an appointment. I was like WTH? I gave them all permission to converse so that we can get Landon the best help out there, not permission to make my appointments. So the doctor and I, and the school and I had a very long talk. When we went to the appointment I made sure the doctor knew they were the only ones seeing this problem. He didn't act they way they said at home or at the other school (which he is still attending in the afternoons when he gets out of elementary). We came up with a behavior folder in which both schools and us at home leave daily reports so that all parties know what's going on and for the doctor to read as well. Plus this also gives us a chance to discuss it with L and let him know mommy and daddy are reading this stuff and he will get in trouble if seen fit. These notes state L's actions minute for minute.. Which I was not expecting. They talk of him screaming out, being impulsive, hitting people, climbing on the counters and such.. This is not my son. He is hyper yes, and has a very hard time focusing on anything... But he doesn't act out like this. So I'm starting to wonder why... >One statment said "he was cutting out a design and got very fustrated, slammed his scissors down and said grrrrrrr" I was like ok... thats because he is left handed and you stupid people havent listened when I said he has special scisorrs he is suposed to be using (problem solved) >Another said "We were in time out in the hall because timeout in the room wasnt working. Once it was done we started walking back to the class and the child proceeded to hit me and say My tummy hurts." Im like hello! He is 5!! He wasnt hitting you, he was tapping you and telling you he was hungry. And thats violent?!? > We cant forget the phone call I recieved about the firetruck.. Which incidently wasn't even a firetruck it was an ambulance. Apparently one went by with the sirens on and L got very excited and ran to the window to watch. Then began telling his classmates to look. 5 People, 5! What 5 y.o. doesn't think that thats kool and exciting? Then they sent home homework (which was class work that they said he couldnt focus on to do) We sat down and worked out the 2 worksheets. One was on patterns and the other on diferenciation numbers and letters. He blazed through them like nothing. Then we moved on to the color, cut and glue activity which took a lot more time to do. There was alot to it. He managed just fine and didnt even get fustrated with cutting it out (which is unusual before the patch) The only part he struggled on was cutting out eyelashes because if you cut too far it'l cut the eyelid in half. A normal kid would have had a hard time with that..He sat for 45 min undistracted and unfustrated and did his homework with very little direction from me. I know theres less distractions at home but never-the-less 45min is a lo0ng time. Knowing all this, the doctor (very skeptically) bumped him up to the 15 mg patch to see if it would help more in school. He instructed me that if for any reason it looks like too much or changes his personality or causes him to be robotic then to just pull the patch off and let him know and we would go with the plan B we came up with. The very first day of the patch they call to inform me that there is no change. Once again I have to explain to them that it takes a few days to fully get in his system to reep the benifits.. Im very fustrated with having to AGAIN explain this to them. Im fustrated with the fact that we are seeing the changes at home and the other school is too but the new elementary isnt. We were so excited to have a support group wit this school and some people to help us out because usually schools will just send them back for another preschool year, not wanting to deal with it. But, not Im seriously starting to question their judgment and their idea of misbehaved. When he tries hard and still getting in trouble after awhile wouldnt he just get so fustrated that trying isnt an option anymore? Well, L made it to the special Alternative exucation class finally! So thats exciting. Its just a class no bigget then 12 kids with 2 teachers so that theres less ditractions and more one on one time. He startes that tuesday and I hope this does well for him. Between work and hom and caring for my grams and the school, I'm spent. I knew it was going to be this dificult and thats why I tryed to get it done before Kindergarten so he would have an easier time of it all. I fear the other kids will shun him away as the bad kid now and I fear the school will continue to have their expectations for him way too high. Its just all fustrating. I just wrote this to vent a little to people who might be expierencing some of the same things. Comment if you'd like. Give ideas or advice or just share your storie too. Id love to have a small group of people to talk to about stuff like this. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
ADHD Kindergartener mom fustrated and venting.. any others out there?
Top