Hi Help Us Cope,
I noticed that you are new to our board. Welcome!
At first I wondered if you posted in this forum accidently but having read your post again I better understand what you are asking.
The answer to your first two questions......."A Ton."
There are a ton of different dxes that can be mistaken for ADHD, a ton of different medications you can try, and a ton of various counseling/therapies to experiment with. I'll bet the parents here have tried most-or all- of them. What will be successful depends upon the chemical makeup of your child, how accurate the testing is to determine an accurate diagnosis and how astute a therapist is in helping the individuals involved or the family as a whole.
My best advice it to educate yourself like you are doing now. Start reading. Read our FAQ/Board Help forum- that Chandler Papers. Read the articles we have on the board. Read the Archives of all of the forums. Reading and educating yourself will lead to new questions and new directions to explore.
You have a very long road ahead, I won't kid you.
The best advice I have for your marriage is for you and your husband to maintain a united front. Get counseling if you have to. But you must stay on board with one another. My 25 year marriage was a casualty of years and years of stress, differing parenting styles, insufficient communication. Don't allow that to happen to yours.
Oh, and a date night where no talking about kids helps, too. Obviously, we didn't do that often enough...
Suz
