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Adhd son is homeless in another state
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 751986" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Welcome Sherri,</p><p></p><p>You have come to the right place for encouragement, strength and support. I have two homeless adult sons that live "presently" in their cars. They have made up stories which to them are "reality" of what their childhood was like. It blows my mind! There's no telling them that those things didn't happen. Younger son has ADHD and PTSD. At one point "when" he was at home with us he literally smoked pot like it was his job. Every 15 minutes. My house, cloths, coats everything stunk. I was so angry with him and told him my work was going to think it was me smoking it. He then decided smoking in the garage was better. These things "we allowed" I guess because there were no boundaries. If we tried to implement them the police would surely be at our door as they were so many many times. I also had an alcoholic husband at the time so that always added fuel to any conversation. It would escalate from 0-100 in no time.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure somehow, someway he's still smoking pot even jobless and homeless. I'm sure not as much but it's his cure-all too. After all, it's just a plant right? Ugh. He was on medication for almost two years and took himself off the medications. I honestly think he was a bit crazier on the medications. Hard to tell. He doesn't want to continue therapy. Won't start with someone new because it's too emotionally draining etc. I often wonder if he just planted the diagnosis into the therapists head and they agreed with him. He was seeing a "State" therapist and quite honestly they are so overwhelmed that I don't really feel he got the attention he needed. For him, he went to monthly appointments just to have his prescription renewed, which he was usually out of 1/2 way thru the month either because he took more than he should or sold them. </p><p></p><p>They come up with some pretty hair brain ideas (similar to your sons new found CEO position). One time younger son said I think I'm going to get a couple of dogs. Well, if you didn't think I almost fell off my chair. The guy was homeless, living in his car (with me "at the time" paying for gas) and had no money to eat or a pot to pee in, etc. and he wanted to have a couple of dogs living in his car with him? That never happened because after a bit he realized I'm sure that I was right. </p><p></p><p>Anyways, it's not easy and I have only recently stopped enabling them. I still pay some fixed items, like a student loan I co-signed for years ago but through much prayer, reading good books, therapy, Al anon and this forum I've been able to make some progress.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't put too much weight into what your son is saying. Someone in his group or a combination of them will likely figure out that they have no money. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there and keep posting. Just taking away the isolation of being alone with your problems and being able to speak to people on this forum who will not judge you will lhopefully be the beginning of some relief for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 751986, member: 23405"] Welcome Sherri, You have come to the right place for encouragement, strength and support. I have two homeless adult sons that live "presently" in their cars. They have made up stories which to them are "reality" of what their childhood was like. It blows my mind! There's no telling them that those things didn't happen. Younger son has ADHD and PTSD. At one point "when" he was at home with us he literally smoked pot like it was his job. Every 15 minutes. My house, cloths, coats everything stunk. I was so angry with him and told him my work was going to think it was me smoking it. He then decided smoking in the garage was better. These things "we allowed" I guess because there were no boundaries. If we tried to implement them the police would surely be at our door as they were so many many times. I also had an alcoholic husband at the time so that always added fuel to any conversation. It would escalate from 0-100 in no time. I'm sure somehow, someway he's still smoking pot even jobless and homeless. I'm sure not as much but it's his cure-all too. After all, it's just a plant right? Ugh. He was on medication for almost two years and took himself off the medications. I honestly think he was a bit crazier on the medications. Hard to tell. He doesn't want to continue therapy. Won't start with someone new because it's too emotionally draining etc. I often wonder if he just planted the diagnosis into the therapists head and they agreed with him. He was seeing a "State" therapist and quite honestly they are so overwhelmed that I don't really feel he got the attention he needed. For him, he went to monthly appointments just to have his prescription renewed, which he was usually out of 1/2 way thru the month either because he took more than he should or sold them. They come up with some pretty hair brain ideas (similar to your sons new found CEO position). One time younger son said I think I'm going to get a couple of dogs. Well, if you didn't think I almost fell off my chair. The guy was homeless, living in his car (with me "at the time" paying for gas) and had no money to eat or a pot to pee in, etc. and he wanted to have a couple of dogs living in his car with him? That never happened because after a bit he realized I'm sure that I was right. Anyways, it's not easy and I have only recently stopped enabling them. I still pay some fixed items, like a student loan I co-signed for years ago but through much prayer, reading good books, therapy, Al anon and this forum I've been able to make some progress. I wouldn't put too much weight into what your son is saying. Someone in his group or a combination of them will likely figure out that they have no money. Hang in there and keep posting. Just taking away the isolation of being alone with your problems and being able to speak to people on this forum who will not judge you will lhopefully be the beginning of some relief for you. [/QUOTE]
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