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Parent Emeritus
Adhd son is homeless in another state
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 752078" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Welcome! </p><p></p><p>If my child blocked me on a phone that I am paying for, I would remove his phone line from my plan. </p><p></p><p>My children both claim to have been abused and I learned over time that it does no good trying to correct that. It just leads to arguments . They use that line to make us feel guilty and extract funds from us. I had to learn to drop the rope and not care what they think .I started verbalizing that their childhood is their childhood and that I can't and won't touch that, that their memories and feelings are what they are and they have to work through all of that on their own.</p><p></p><p>Learned helplessness and victim mode worked for them in the past but I feed into it less and less now (I am still a work in progress). I am detaching with love and let them work out their own lives as much as possible (progress not perfection on my part).</p><p></p><p>I very much like your boundary of not letting your son live with you since he "was abused by his StepDad".</p><p></p><p>My son says we don't support him because we won't pay for his expenses while he explores a music career.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 752078, member: 24254"] Welcome! If my child blocked me on a phone that I am paying for, I would remove his phone line from my plan. My children both claim to have been abused and I learned over time that it does no good trying to correct that. It just leads to arguments . They use that line to make us feel guilty and extract funds from us. I had to learn to drop the rope and not care what they think .I started verbalizing that their childhood is their childhood and that I can't and won't touch that, that their memories and feelings are what they are and they have to work through all of that on their own. Learned helplessness and victim mode worked for them in the past but I feed into it less and less now (I am still a work in progress). I am detaching with love and let them work out their own lives as much as possible (progress not perfection on my part). I very much like your boundary of not letting your son live with you since he "was abused by his StepDad". My son says we don't support him because we won't pay for his expenses while he explores a music career. [/QUOTE]
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Adhd son is homeless in another state
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