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General Parenting
ADHD with anger outburts
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<blockquote data-quote="navineja" data-source="post: 217479" data-attributes="member: 4278"><p>Welcome. Sorry that you have a situation that leads you to need this board, but glad that you have found us! Let me start by saying that you will find a wealth of experience and support from the wonderful parents here. It seems to me that in any situation one of us is dealing with, someone has been there done that!</p><p>I too have a difficult child with ADHD and anger issues. Often homework seemed to be the trigger. After a while, I realized that it was not worth the battle and loss of peace for the rest of us. After all, it wasn't my homework and I was not going to be the one to suffer the consequences of not doing it. I let her "own" the problem (after explaining the situation to the teacher). Her teacher was very cooperative and consistent in providing suitable consequences in school for the undone work. N (my difficult child) still had to stay at her homework area and could not participate in anything else until she got it done (if she chose not to, then she just didn't get to do much else that night, but that was her choice). That reduced the problem about 75&#37;. </p><p>In addition, allowing a short playtime before homework and making sure that she had a snack after school made a big difference.</p><p>None of these things completely eliminated the problems, but it did make a difference. When all else failed and the tantrum came anyway (as it still does occasionally even now), then N is restricted to her room. She has stated that "Sometimes I just want to be angry!". We feel that to a certain extent she has reason to be (due to her past) and also has a right to be (within reason). We tell her that if she wants to be angry and mean, it has to be in her room. Then it is her choice whether she wants to be with the family or alone with her anger. Please note though, that this is after reminders on how to properly deal with the anger, such as using her "tools" (blowing it out, talking, counting to 10, jumping jacks, etc.) There are just times that she refuses to use the tools. </p><p>Again, glad that you found us and hope that you find the support and advice that you need here!</p><p></p><p>Naomi</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="navineja, post: 217479, member: 4278"] Welcome. Sorry that you have a situation that leads you to need this board, but glad that you have found us! Let me start by saying that you will find a wealth of experience and support from the wonderful parents here. It seems to me that in any situation one of us is dealing with, someone has been there done that! I too have a difficult child with ADHD and anger issues. Often homework seemed to be the trigger. After a while, I realized that it was not worth the battle and loss of peace for the rest of us. After all, it wasn't my homework and I was not going to be the one to suffer the consequences of not doing it. I let her "own" the problem (after explaining the situation to the teacher). Her teacher was very cooperative and consistent in providing suitable consequences in school for the undone work. N (my difficult child) still had to stay at her homework area and could not participate in anything else until she got it done (if she chose not to, then she just didn't get to do much else that night, but that was her choice). That reduced the problem about 75%. In addition, allowing a short playtime before homework and making sure that she had a snack after school made a big difference. None of these things completely eliminated the problems, but it did make a difference. When all else failed and the tantrum came anyway (as it still does occasionally even now), then N is restricted to her room. She has stated that "Sometimes I just want to be angry!". We feel that to a certain extent she has reason to be (due to her past) and also has a right to be (within reason). We tell her that if she wants to be angry and mean, it has to be in her room. Then it is her choice whether she wants to be with the family or alone with her anger. Please note though, that this is after reminders on how to properly deal with the anger, such as using her "tools" (blowing it out, talking, counting to 10, jumping jacks, etc.) There are just times that she refuses to use the tools. Again, glad that you found us and hope that you find the support and advice that you need here! Naomi [/QUOTE]
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