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Parent Emeritus
Adopted a teenager - bad outcome
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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 542140" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>I would love to tell you to offer help on the basis of her doing X, Y, Z....because that is what a parent would do...but not a parent of a difficult child, because it just does not work that way. Over and over again parents here try it and over and over it fails. I especially feel confident that your difficult child will not do her part of any deal since she is a master manipulator and knows all the right buttons. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes the parent role takes on a very non-traditional involvement. That is OK. Sometimes it is what is best. So, yes, I agree with your counselor. She will need to figure out how to get her own help - and that is truly the best parenting move here. It is likely the only way she will learn in life, to figure it out for herself. </p><p></p><p>I know it is terribly hard because it is not how you envisioned parenting. But, it is not wrong, just different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 542140, member: 391"] I would love to tell you to offer help on the basis of her doing X, Y, Z....because that is what a parent would do...but not a parent of a difficult child, because it just does not work that way. Over and over again parents here try it and over and over it fails. I especially feel confident that your difficult child will not do her part of any deal since she is a master manipulator and knows all the right buttons. Sometimes the parent role takes on a very non-traditional involvement. That is OK. Sometimes it is what is best. So, yes, I agree with your counselor. She will need to figure out how to get her own help - and that is truly the best parenting move here. It is likely the only way she will learn in life, to figure it out for herself. I know it is terribly hard because it is not how you envisioned parenting. But, it is not wrong, just different. [/QUOTE]
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Adopted a teenager - bad outcome
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