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Adoption attorney appointment today - difficult child in all her glory
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<blockquote data-quote="C.J." data-source="post: 253831" data-attributes="member: 1987"><p>Rhonda,</p><p></p><p>N* left home 6 days after she turned 18 and was gone for ten of the most peaceful weeks I can remember in a very long time.</p><p></p><p>When she'd had enough carp from PSD#1, she called me and asked if she could come home. I told her she could, as long as she realized the same reasonable rules and expectations I have in my home did not change. We talked about her going back to school and getting a job.</p><p></p><p>When she came home, she wasn't feeling well - terribly tired, a blood test confirmed Mono. Hard to force someone to get a job or go to school when truly sick. She never got better though - at one point even asked me if she could get Mono again so soon... She'd put on a little weight (but had taken herself off Ritalin) and I began to think she was pregnant. At 8 weeks, she finally told me she thought she might be. We went together to a crisis pregnancy center, where the pregnancy was confirmed.</p><p></p><p>She told everyone she was too young and too immature to raise a child right now, and planned to place the baby for adoption. I supported this decision. We talked. I told her she could continue to live at home, and provide financial and emotional support. Since she was still covered on my insurance plan, it would be EASIER FOR ME to have her see a doctor who was closer to my home/office than to have her go through welfare. (No car, no driver's license) I made it clear to her that ALL appts are scheduled AT MY CONVENIENCE. All the doctor's offices call the day before to remind her of the appointment, and I let her know when I'll be ready to leave/pick her up. If she's not ready when it is time to go, I leave with out her, and she gets to deal with rescheduling. She tested me on it once, and I left without her. She has not tested me again.</p><p></p><p>Am I being more responsible than she is right now? Yes - I'm holding up my end of the bargain. Is she being more responsible today than she was the last two years when she had a doctor's appointment? Yes</p><p></p><p>I've made her call the social worker and attorney on her own. They only call me to arrange the actual appointment time since I am supplying transportation. While I have sat in on the appointments, I've made it clear SHE is the client -- I feel their pain when she starts acting like a difficult child.</p><p></p><p>We've talked about post pregnancy plans, and if she stays in my home, if she's in school, she needs a part time job. No school, she works 40 hours a week. She would pay reasonable rent. She needs to learn to drive (her cost - I already pulled money out of her college fund to pay for the friend's car she totalled), get her driver's license, and save money for a car, tags, taxes and insurance.</p><p></p><p>I'm proud of her for deciding to go through with the adoption plan. I know placing the baby for adoption will be the most difficult thing she will endure up to this point in her life. I will give her time and space to grieve and heal. And then I will expect her to get off of her rear end, and make her own plans for the rest of her life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="C.J., post: 253831, member: 1987"] Rhonda, N* left home 6 days after she turned 18 and was gone for ten of the most peaceful weeks I can remember in a very long time. When she'd had enough carp from PSD#1, she called me and asked if she could come home. I told her she could, as long as she realized the same reasonable rules and expectations I have in my home did not change. We talked about her going back to school and getting a job. When she came home, she wasn't feeling well - terribly tired, a blood test confirmed Mono. Hard to force someone to get a job or go to school when truly sick. She never got better though - at one point even asked me if she could get Mono again so soon... She'd put on a little weight (but had taken herself off Ritalin) and I began to think she was pregnant. At 8 weeks, she finally told me she thought she might be. We went together to a crisis pregnancy center, where the pregnancy was confirmed. She told everyone she was too young and too immature to raise a child right now, and planned to place the baby for adoption. I supported this decision. We talked. I told her she could continue to live at home, and provide financial and emotional support. Since she was still covered on my insurance plan, it would be EASIER FOR ME to have her see a doctor who was closer to my home/office than to have her go through welfare. (No car, no driver's license) I made it clear to her that ALL appts are scheduled AT MY CONVENIENCE. All the doctor's offices call the day before to remind her of the appointment, and I let her know when I'll be ready to leave/pick her up. If she's not ready when it is time to go, I leave with out her, and she gets to deal with rescheduling. She tested me on it once, and I left without her. She has not tested me again. Am I being more responsible than she is right now? Yes - I'm holding up my end of the bargain. Is she being more responsible today than she was the last two years when she had a doctor's appointment? Yes I've made her call the social worker and attorney on her own. They only call me to arrange the actual appointment time since I am supplying transportation. While I have sat in on the appointments, I've made it clear SHE is the client -- I feel their pain when she starts acting like a difficult child. We've talked about post pregnancy plans, and if she stays in my home, if she's in school, she needs a part time job. No school, she works 40 hours a week. She would pay reasonable rent. She needs to learn to drive (her cost - I already pulled money out of her college fund to pay for the friend's car she totalled), get her driver's license, and save money for a car, tags, taxes and insurance. I'm proud of her for deciding to go through with the adoption plan. I know placing the baby for adoption will be the most difficult thing she will endure up to this point in her life. I will give her time and space to grieve and heal. And then I will expect her to get off of her rear end, and make her own plans for the rest of her life. [/QUOTE]
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Adoption attorney appointment today - difficult child in all her glory
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