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Adoption has changed so much. I'm scared.
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<blockquote data-quote="ThreeShadows" data-source="post: 244126" data-attributes="member: 6370"><p>It's also the entire adoption "industry" which chooses to focus on the negatives of the situation. I went to an adoption discussion given by the largest agency in Maine. Their panel consisted of a biomom straight out of a Greek tragedy, dressed entirely in black, including a shawl. She told her story, it was horrible. Her parents had forced her to relinquish her baby, then the agency told her that the child had died!!! The "deceased" child had not been placed in a permanent home because he had major health problems. He spent years in the foster care system and found his mom when he was 18.</p><p></p><p>The adult adoptee was a lawyer whose grandparents refused to accept him because his sibs were the bio kids of his family. They NEVER gave him Xmas presents, walking right by him to present gifts to their blood! He considered every adoptee to be a child at risk. The adoptive parents on the panel were quiet and had little to say (maybe they were afraid of seeming non easy child...).</p><p></p><p>By the time the discussion was over, the entire audience of us "infertiles" looked like it had been hit on the head. I was furious and made my first ever public statement that the situation seemed desperate but that we had had a miracle happen and now were raising twins as our own, that people should not accept to be dissuaded from living their dreams of having a family created through adoption.</p><p></p><p>Why couln't they have chosen a panel whose wounds were not so raw?</p><p></p><p>By the way, that biomom was running support groups for other biomoms in Portland! She was one angry woman, had every right to be furious but had no business being on this panel and certainly had not resolved her issues enough to be a good group leader.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ThreeShadows, post: 244126, member: 6370"] It's also the entire adoption "industry" which chooses to focus on the negatives of the situation. I went to an adoption discussion given by the largest agency in Maine. Their panel consisted of a biomom straight out of a Greek tragedy, dressed entirely in black, including a shawl. She told her story, it was horrible. Her parents had forced her to relinquish her baby, then the agency told her that the child had died!!! The "deceased" child had not been placed in a permanent home because he had major health problems. He spent years in the foster care system and found his mom when he was 18. The adult adoptee was a lawyer whose grandparents refused to accept him because his sibs were the bio kids of his family. They NEVER gave him Xmas presents, walking right by him to present gifts to their blood! He considered every adoptee to be a child at risk. The adoptive parents on the panel were quiet and had little to say (maybe they were afraid of seeming non easy child...). By the time the discussion was over, the entire audience of us "infertiles" looked like it had been hit on the head. I was furious and made my first ever public statement that the situation seemed desperate but that we had had a miracle happen and now were raising twins as our own, that people should not accept to be dissuaded from living their dreams of having a family created through adoption. Why couln't they have chosen a panel whose wounds were not so raw? By the way, that biomom was running support groups for other biomoms in Portland! She was one angry woman, had every right to be furious but had no business being on this panel and certainly had not resolved her issues enough to be a good group leader. [/QUOTE]
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Adoption has changed so much. I'm scared.
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