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Adoption has changed so much. I'm scared.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 244166" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Behind every bio. mom is a woman who either gave into family pressure to give up a child (she didn't have to give in to that pressure, sorry, many women and even girls DO NOT give into the pressure) or they were unfit to raise their children. Did they really WANT to get up at 3am to feed them and change their diapers and get vomited on or go through the hideous teen years? I am so tired of Birthmother Martyr Syndrome.</p><p></p><p>Today I heard from N's birthmother. I hadn't expected to, but as soon as I read her e-mail, I did feel ashamed. She is a wonderful person, I'd loved her very much, and she still wants what is best for N. She is not on a soap box. She is not screeching about "first mom" rights. She thanked me over and over again for contacting and sending pictures and letting her to let her know how N. was doing and for doing such a good job and told us that N. wasn't far from her thoughts. She explained that she had a hub and three kids now and couldn't have a lot of contact because her hub was uncomfortable with it, but she wanted to help N. in any way. The bottom line, she didn't want to hurt anyone. Now I know how N. got to be such a great kid. It certainly wasn't her drug addict birthfather who is currently in jail (again). Maybe he should complain from prison that he was "forced" to give up his rights by birthmother--she pressured him...haha. But it really HAS gotten that silly.</p><p></p><p>Reunion shows on television also make me sick. The adoptive mothers are never there. We don't matter. All we see is whining about us and squealing when "real" families meet. Sure, some adoptees are mistreated. So are birthkids. I personally think that since adoption is harder than raising birthchildren many adoptive moms go way WAY above the call of duty...way above what many FIRSTMOTHERS would do for their kids. And I'm tired, tired, tired of the demonizing. Nobody put a gun to any birthmother's head to get her to sign her rights away. Ok, I just stepped off the soap box <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 244166, member: 1550"] Behind every bio. mom is a woman who either gave into family pressure to give up a child (she didn't have to give in to that pressure, sorry, many women and even girls DO NOT give into the pressure) or they were unfit to raise their children. Did they really WANT to get up at 3am to feed them and change their diapers and get vomited on or go through the hideous teen years? I am so tired of Birthmother Martyr Syndrome. Today I heard from N's birthmother. I hadn't expected to, but as soon as I read her e-mail, I did feel ashamed. She is a wonderful person, I'd loved her very much, and she still wants what is best for N. She is not on a soap box. She is not screeching about "first mom" rights. She thanked me over and over again for contacting and sending pictures and letting her to let her know how N. was doing and for doing such a good job and told us that N. wasn't far from her thoughts. She explained that she had a hub and three kids now and couldn't have a lot of contact because her hub was uncomfortable with it, but she wanted to help N. in any way. The bottom line, she didn't want to hurt anyone. Now I know how N. got to be such a great kid. It certainly wasn't her drug addict birthfather who is currently in jail (again). Maybe he should complain from prison that he was "forced" to give up his rights by birthmother--she pressured him...haha. But it really HAS gotten that silly. Reunion shows on television also make me sick. The adoptive mothers are never there. We don't matter. All we see is whining about us and squealing when "real" families meet. Sure, some adoptees are mistreated. So are birthkids. I personally think that since adoption is harder than raising birthchildren many adoptive moms go way WAY above the call of duty...way above what many FIRSTMOTHERS would do for their kids. And I'm tired, tired, tired of the demonizing. Nobody put a gun to any birthmother's head to get her to sign her rights away. Ok, I just stepped off the soap box ;) [/QUOTE]
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Adoption has changed so much. I'm scared.
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