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Parent Emeritus
Adoptive parents: Would you do it again?
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 748725" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Wow. This is the question I wrestle with a lot. I'm still not sure if I would do it again. I realize now that we were very ignorant and naive. We knew that Josh's birthmom had used drugs and alcohol during her pregnancy (we didn't know that there was a chance of Bipolar; that information came only two years ago), but we naively thought that if Josh were physically healthy and intellectually normal then that was there was to worry about. All we had to do was love him. I have to say that the best years of our lives were when he was a baby through maybe about nine or ten years old. He was okay as a teen, not rebellious or in trouble, but he developed a more negative minded, critical attitude that he had not had before, but still okay. It was only when he graduated from high school and went to college that things slowly began to go downhill. The last seven years have been hard. So, to answer the question--I'm not sure. I'm not sure that the few years we had that were joyful and fun were worth the years we have ahead of us, or at least what appear to be ahead of us. I've come to realize from reading many of your posts here that having adopted kids is definitely more risky and love does not solve their problems. If I were doing it again, I would want to be counseled on possible problems and not just blindly go into it, thinking that love would conquer all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 748725, member: 22597"] Wow. This is the question I wrestle with a lot. I'm still not sure if I would do it again. I realize now that we were very ignorant and naive. We knew that Josh's birthmom had used drugs and alcohol during her pregnancy (we didn't know that there was a chance of Bipolar; that information came only two years ago), but we naively thought that if Josh were physically healthy and intellectually normal then that was there was to worry about. All we had to do was love him. I have to say that the best years of our lives were when he was a baby through maybe about nine or ten years old. He was okay as a teen, not rebellious or in trouble, but he developed a more negative minded, critical attitude that he had not had before, but still okay. It was only when he graduated from high school and went to college that things slowly began to go downhill. The last seven years have been hard. So, to answer the question--I'm not sure. I'm not sure that the few years we had that were joyful and fun were worth the years we have ahead of us, or at least what appear to be ahead of us. I've come to realize from reading many of your posts here that having adopted kids is definitely more risky and love does not solve their problems. If I were doing it again, I would want to be counseled on possible problems and not just blindly go into it, thinking that love would conquer all. [/QUOTE]
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Adoptive parents: Would you do it again?
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