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Parent Emeritus
Adoptive parents: Would you do it again?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 748736" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Yep. I thought that all I had to do was love her.</p><p></p><p>It’s interesting. A few related...but somewhat misc thoughts...</p><p></p><p>I think personality might largely be genetic. And I think there is some scientific backing that many surprising things are formulated in gestation...while the birth mother is pregnant. Even food likes and dislikes. Soooo...if bm was angry, scared during pregnancy that could be an issue. Plus, all the genetic possibilities that are unknown and likely more influential than most of us thought.</p><p></p><p>Also, these kids are sometimes in “preemptive strike” mode. Fear that parents or relatives will reject them so they reject first. Test test and test some more. Breaking boundaries left and right and voila...they get their wish. I don’t think they are thinking clearly. It begins a no win vicious cycle. One can love unconditionally , but if someone is boundary-less...eventually adopted or not...boundaries will have to be enforced like it or not. Or one might have to love from afar.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 748736, member: 4152"] Yep. I thought that all I had to do was love her. It’s interesting. A few related...but somewhat misc thoughts... I think personality might largely be genetic. And I think there is some scientific backing that many surprising things are formulated in gestation...while the birth mother is pregnant. Even food likes and dislikes. Soooo...if bm was angry, scared during pregnancy that could be an issue. Plus, all the genetic possibilities that are unknown and likely more influential than most of us thought. Also, these kids are sometimes in “preemptive strike” mode. Fear that parents or relatives will reject them so they reject first. Test test and test some more. Breaking boundaries left and right and voila...they get their wish. I don’t think they are thinking clearly. It begins a no win vicious cycle. One can love unconditionally , but if someone is boundary-less...eventually adopted or not...boundaries will have to be enforced like it or not. Or one might have to love from afar. [/QUOTE]
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Adoptive parents: Would you do it again?
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