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Adoptive parents: Would you do it again?
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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 749098" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>I know this is an older thread but I have been thinking about the answer to this ever since the question was asked. It is so very hard to say. When we adopted my son it was hands down the best day of my life. We had been trying for many years to have a biological child and it just wasn't going to happen. When we got the call about him I was over the moon. That feeling lasted until he was about 8. Then he stated to have some problems (ADD). That really didn't seem unsurmountable but I realized that we had to do somethings differently. From then until he was about 12 we had some behavior issues but nothing that I didn't think we could handle. Then at 13 he really started to lie more and to steal. Things got way worse after that with running away , getting arrested, 2 times prison and so on and so on. In the last 11 years it has been hell. There has been only a very few fleeting times between that there has been anything positive. When positive things do happen it is very hard to enjoy them as I know in a short time the next crisis will come. Right now in this moment I really don't know if the good times make up for the bad. He has matured some but still it's the same day in and day out. If things continue on the same trajectory I would have to say it was not a good idea to adopt. I use to tell myself that if he was with his birthmother things would have been even worse for him but at this point that is very hard to imagine. I feel terrible for saying this and would never tell him that as I do love him with all my heart. It has been so much pain.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 749098, member: 23328"] I know this is an older thread but I have been thinking about the answer to this ever since the question was asked. It is so very hard to say. When we adopted my son it was hands down the best day of my life. We had been trying for many years to have a biological child and it just wasn't going to happen. When we got the call about him I was over the moon. That feeling lasted until he was about 8. Then he stated to have some problems (ADD). That really didn't seem unsurmountable but I realized that we had to do somethings differently. From then until he was about 12 we had some behavior issues but nothing that I didn't think we could handle. Then at 13 he really started to lie more and to steal. Things got way worse after that with running away , getting arrested, 2 times prison and so on and so on. In the last 11 years it has been hell. There has been only a very few fleeting times between that there has been anything positive. When positive things do happen it is very hard to enjoy them as I know in a short time the next crisis will come. Right now in this moment I really don't know if the good times make up for the bad. He has matured some but still it's the same day in and day out. If things continue on the same trajectory I would have to say it was not a good idea to adopt. I use to tell myself that if he was with his birthmother things would have been even worse for him but at this point that is very hard to imagine. I feel terrible for saying this and would never tell him that as I do love him with all my heart. It has been so much pain. [/QUOTE]
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Adoptive parents: Would you do it again?
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