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Parent Emeritus
Adult child choosing to be homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 647829" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Carol, I agree with 2m2r, her post is very clear. </p><p></p><p>Welcome. I'm glad you're here.</p><p></p><p>Your son is an adult and he has made his choice to live the way he is. You do not have to continually pay for his choices. Whatever you allow will continue. Often what perpetuates our continuing to help our adult troubled child is our own fear for them. Living in that fear is terrible. For me, the way I found my own way through that fear, was with A LOT of support. Professional support, therapy, programs for recovering from codependency and therapist lead parent groups. Fear can take over your life and deplete every ounce of joy. Considering that your son is an adult and you have absolutely no control over his choices, the only recourse you end up with is to choose how you are going to respond and how you are going to feel. You can learn how to change in those 2 areas with support. </p><p></p><p>Guilt will rob you of your own life. There is little we can do to alter the course of an adult's life. We are powerless. That powerlessness is difficult for us to accept. Getting to acceptance of what is, is the path most of us here are on. It is not in any way, shape or form, easy. But, it is often the only path left. Getting there is treacherous which is why I always strongly suggest you find yourself support in whatever way feels right for you.</p><p></p><p>My daughter is 42 and chooses to be homeless too. I've been in your shoes. I get it. YOU have choices. Focus on YOU now. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting it helps. I am so sorry you find yourself in the situation you are in with your son. Hang in there. We're here........and we're glad you found us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 647829, member: 13542"] Carol, I agree with 2m2r, her post is very clear. Welcome. I'm glad you're here. Your son is an adult and he has made his choice to live the way he is. You do not have to continually pay for his choices. Whatever you allow will continue. Often what perpetuates our continuing to help our adult troubled child is our own fear for them. Living in that fear is terrible. For me, the way I found my own way through that fear, was with A LOT of support. Professional support, therapy, programs for recovering from codependency and therapist lead parent groups. Fear can take over your life and deplete every ounce of joy. Considering that your son is an adult and you have absolutely no control over his choices, the only recourse you end up with is to choose how you are going to respond and how you are going to feel. You can learn how to change in those 2 areas with support. Guilt will rob you of your own life. There is little we can do to alter the course of an adult's life. We are powerless. That powerlessness is difficult for us to accept. Getting to acceptance of what is, is the path most of us here are on. It is not in any way, shape or form, easy. But, it is often the only path left. Getting there is treacherous which is why I always strongly suggest you find yourself support in whatever way feels right for you. My daughter is 42 and chooses to be homeless too. I've been in your shoes. I get it. YOU have choices. Focus on YOU now. Keep posting it helps. I am so sorry you find yourself in the situation you are in with your son. Hang in there. We're here........and we're glad you found us. [/QUOTE]
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