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Substance Abuse
Adult Child lying and stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 742962" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Many years ago I lived with a young woman to whom I rented a room. She was a college student. At some point I began to see puddles of vomit all over the yard. At first it didn't compute and finally I could not ignore it. I asked her. She denied it. </p><p></p><p>Sometime later everything came out, I don't remember how. She was a Bulimic which for her was episodic.</p><p></p><p>My feeling is that the stealing could be a compulsive behavior. And she lies because of shame. It does not make sense to me that somebody would intentionally steal items from family and friends, where she knows she will be detected, unless she is out of control or wants to be detected.</p><p></p><p>I would confront her gently as a statement of fact. I would not ask her to admit to the behavior. I would tell her what you know. There are programs that the district attorney's office runs in some cities, that are diversionary. Is there a reason that her sibling did not report the missing items. It is in your daughter's interests to be apprehended. The longer this goes on the more at risk she becomes.</p><p></p><p>I think that patterns of addiction can go from one thing to another thing. It is not hard to imagine that her addictive behavior continued in the form of petty theft. If it were me I would speak to her and I would encourage her to get help. I agree with the others that she should not be in your houses, if there is risk she will steal. She should be told upfront. That is what I think.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 742962, member: 18958"] Many years ago I lived with a young woman to whom I rented a room. She was a college student. At some point I began to see puddles of vomit all over the yard. At first it didn't compute and finally I could not ignore it. I asked her. She denied it. Sometime later everything came out, I don't remember how. She was a Bulimic which for her was episodic. My feeling is that the stealing could be a compulsive behavior. And she lies because of shame. It does not make sense to me that somebody would intentionally steal items from family and friends, where she knows she will be detected, unless she is out of control or wants to be detected. I would confront her gently as a statement of fact. I would not ask her to admit to the behavior. I would tell her what you know. There are programs that the district attorney's office runs in some cities, that are diversionary. Is there a reason that her sibling did not report the missing items. It is in your daughter's interests to be apprehended. The longer this goes on the more at risk she becomes. I think that patterns of addiction can go from one thing to another thing. It is not hard to imagine that her addictive behavior continued in the form of petty theft. If it were me I would speak to her and I would encourage her to get help. I agree with the others that she should not be in your houses, if there is risk she will steal. She should be told upfront. That is what I think. [/QUOTE]
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