Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Adult daughter....abusive ?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 481199" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi there and welcome. I am glad you found us, sounds like you are a genuine member of the "difficult child" parent club. (the word here for our challenging children...gift from god)</p><p></p><p>Aside of the hurtful way this was all done... I am going to think out loud about the bottom line... For NOW, your daughter is in a place where for whatever reasons, right or wrong, she is not comfortable with strangers around her child...may not even be that, may be just a way to control you. But in any event, I suppose you are going to have to decide if your relationship with your granddaughter is more important to you than to have time to share your joy about her with friends in person. For now, you can maybe just do videos, pictures, computer posts, etc. I would be careful on the computer, if you do facebook or myspace etc... to never tag her in photos or use her real name. Maybe not even do photos, just bragging moments, like how proud you are of some kind of accomplishment. I fear if you step out of difficult child's invisible and ever changing boundaries, she may pull the rug out completely. I believe your grand daughter needs you too much to let that happen. I think grandparents are so very important to a growing child. As my sister says, you can't ever have too many people to love and care about your child. </p><p></p><p>If it was me (and it isn't so feel free to throw this out if it doesn't fit) I would prioritize being able to spend time with my granddaughter as very important and I'd be willing to jump through some hoops. NOT ALL hoops, if she gets too out of control there is an even bigger problem. But, you can show added"respect" for your daughter (I KNOW you already do, but I am saying from her twisted perspective) by even asking little things, in a genuine way-not sarcastic--like I just wanted to make sure that she could have x candy... dont over do it, just anything that might be a worry to her, so you can let her know that you are all for her calling the shots for her daughter. I know this might sound manipulative, but I dont mean it that way...just in a way that can keep you in grand daughter's life. I dont know all of your difficult child's issues, but I think someone who is aware of her challenges should be there to keep an eye on how the grands are getting on. Especially since a pregnancy and birth can really play with her emotions and behaviors. </p><p></p><p>Well, that is my totally, not an expert in this kind of situation, just offering support, idea... If it doesn't fit, I really wont be upset, I just want you to know that you are not alone and I am glad you were able to come here to vent. </p><p></p><p>There are so many parents here, they are lovely supporters and often may be very direct and realistic, but always encouraging. You have found a soft place to land. </p><p></p><p>HUGS to you...Buddy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 481199, member: 12886"] Hi there and welcome. I am glad you found us, sounds like you are a genuine member of the "difficult child" parent club. (the word here for our challenging children...gift from god) Aside of the hurtful way this was all done... I am going to think out loud about the bottom line... For NOW, your daughter is in a place where for whatever reasons, right or wrong, she is not comfortable with strangers around her child...may not even be that, may be just a way to control you. But in any event, I suppose you are going to have to decide if your relationship with your granddaughter is more important to you than to have time to share your joy about her with friends in person. For now, you can maybe just do videos, pictures, computer posts, etc. I would be careful on the computer, if you do facebook or myspace etc... to never tag her in photos or use her real name. Maybe not even do photos, just bragging moments, like how proud you are of some kind of accomplishment. I fear if you step out of difficult child's invisible and ever changing boundaries, she may pull the rug out completely. I believe your grand daughter needs you too much to let that happen. I think grandparents are so very important to a growing child. As my sister says, you can't ever have too many people to love and care about your child. If it was me (and it isn't so feel free to throw this out if it doesn't fit) I would prioritize being able to spend time with my granddaughter as very important and I'd be willing to jump through some hoops. NOT ALL hoops, if she gets too out of control there is an even bigger problem. But, you can show added"respect" for your daughter (I KNOW you already do, but I am saying from her twisted perspective) by even asking little things, in a genuine way-not sarcastic--like I just wanted to make sure that she could have x candy... dont over do it, just anything that might be a worry to her, so you can let her know that you are all for her calling the shots for her daughter. I know this might sound manipulative, but I dont mean it that way...just in a way that can keep you in grand daughter's life. I dont know all of your difficult child's issues, but I think someone who is aware of her challenges should be there to keep an eye on how the grands are getting on. Especially since a pregnancy and birth can really play with her emotions and behaviors. Well, that is my totally, not an expert in this kind of situation, just offering support, idea... If it doesn't fit, I really wont be upset, I just want you to know that you are not alone and I am glad you were able to come here to vent. There are so many parents here, they are lovely supporters and often may be very direct and realistic, but always encouraging. You have found a soft place to land. HUGS to you...Buddy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Adult daughter....abusive ?
Top