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Adult daughter....abusive ?
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 482243"><p>I did not answer this right away because I wanted to think carefully.</p><p></p><p>My initial response is that I don't see anything out of line with your daughter's request. I too would be very uncomfortable if my mom's "afternoon with my daughter" turned into a my mom going on a G-Movie date with a "male friend". I am going to guess your daughter was caught (very much) off guard because you did not tell her beforehand or even after the fact. I take it she heard the news from your grand? That would probably make me feel even more uncomfortable.</p><p></p><p>Now, please know that I am not insinuating that you did ANYTHING wrong or that your "male friend" was out of line. I think you are letting this turn into a battle of the wills with your daughter - and I don't think it's the movie that's the issue. As far as what your granddaughter may and may not do when she is with you...that is your daughter's prerogative as a mother. My mom spent many a day with my kids and always gave me a heads up to what her plans were...not because she was asking my permission, but just out of courtesy. She might say "My friend Brenda and I were talking and we thought it might be fun to take her grand-kids and your boys to see Aladdin and then to the McD's playland for a quick lunch...what do you think?" Even now, she is "babysitting" my 14 & 17yo's next week while H and I are out of town and she is all ready running menu ideas and her plans by me for my input.</p><p></p><p>As far as your 5 year old GD wanting constant attention - that's pretty typical for a 5 year old, especially with a new baby on the way. I wouldn't worry. Maybe granddaughter really believes her mommy "never thinks of (you)" or maybe she is just being a 5 year old. My kids' kindergarten door had a sign that said "We won't believe everything your child tells us about you if you promise not to believe everything they tell you about us! Love the K-5 Teachers". Enough said. The fact that your daughter invited you to dinner immediately afterwards means that your daughter does think about you and didn't want your feelings to be hurt. And I think grandparent's day is one of those "non-holidays", and a phone call is more than adequate. Unless you guys have a family tradition going back to daughter's childhood of celebrating it?</p><p></p><p>I think you should cut her some slack for now - it sounds like she overcame an EDD and has always been high strung. Add pregnancy, a precocious 5 yo and a traveling husband - she is likely exhausted. Maybe you can spend an afternoon or so a week at her house and spend time with your grand and your daughter? I am sure she would welcome some company as well as someone who can entertain the 5 yo while your daughter naps or (later) nurses the baby? I bet she would appreciate your company and your help.</p><p></p><p>And no, I don't think your daughter sounds even remotely abusive from what you've posted. Controlling, maybe.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 482243"] I did not answer this right away because I wanted to think carefully. My initial response is that I don't see anything out of line with your daughter's request. I too would be very uncomfortable if my mom's "afternoon with my daughter" turned into a my mom going on a G-Movie date with a "male friend". I am going to guess your daughter was caught (very much) off guard because you did not tell her beforehand or even after the fact. I take it she heard the news from your grand? That would probably make me feel even more uncomfortable. Now, please know that I am not insinuating that you did ANYTHING wrong or that your "male friend" was out of line. I think you are letting this turn into a battle of the wills with your daughter - and I don't think it's the movie that's the issue. As far as what your granddaughter may and may not do when she is with you...that is your daughter's prerogative as a mother. My mom spent many a day with my kids and always gave me a heads up to what her plans were...not because she was asking my permission, but just out of courtesy. She might say "My friend Brenda and I were talking and we thought it might be fun to take her grand-kids and your boys to see Aladdin and then to the McD's playland for a quick lunch...what do you think?" Even now, she is "babysitting" my 14 & 17yo's next week while H and I are out of town and she is all ready running menu ideas and her plans by me for my input. As far as your 5 year old GD wanting constant attention - that's pretty typical for a 5 year old, especially with a new baby on the way. I wouldn't worry. Maybe granddaughter really believes her mommy "never thinks of (you)" or maybe she is just being a 5 year old. My kids' kindergarten door had a sign that said "We won't believe everything your child tells us about you if you promise not to believe everything they tell you about us! Love the K-5 Teachers". Enough said. The fact that your daughter invited you to dinner immediately afterwards means that your daughter does think about you and didn't want your feelings to be hurt. And I think grandparent's day is one of those "non-holidays", and a phone call is more than adequate. Unless you guys have a family tradition going back to daughter's childhood of celebrating it? I think you should cut her some slack for now - it sounds like she overcame an EDD and has always been high strung. Add pregnancy, a precocious 5 yo and a traveling husband - she is likely exhausted. Maybe you can spend an afternoon or so a week at her house and spend time with your grand and your daughter? I am sure she would welcome some company as well as someone who can entertain the 5 yo while your daughter naps or (later) nurses the baby? I bet she would appreciate your company and your help. And no, I don't think your daughter sounds even remotely abusive from what you've posted. Controlling, maybe. [/QUOTE]
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