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Parent Emeritus
Adult Daughter and Grandson Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 746615" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>I've been down a similar road with my daughter. At one point when my granddaughter was about 2 y/o I put her out of my house for her refusal to follow the rules in the contract I had her sign when she moved back in. They bounced around a lot and I was worried sick, but I didn't give any financial help, etc. I even called my parents and asked them not to help either but I have no idea if they did or not. My granddaughter is 9 now and my daughter has been relatively stable the last 4 years. By stable I mean having a place to live, a job and being able to pay her bills for the most part. My daughter is an alcoholic and swings between sobriety and not sobriety. She had a horrible boyfriend for probably 7 years off and on. They broke up about a year ago and she got into a relationship with her 5th grade boyfriend, who lives in a different state. She is now pregnant again. Not what I would choose for her, but it will keep her sober for a bit. She has kept a job and finished a full semester at community college recently, so that is good. She's never been able to complete a semester before. </p><p></p><p>Many times I have had to take breaks from communication with my daughter. These troubled adult kids are master manipulators and while I'm much better at maintain boundaries now there are times I find myself getting sucked into the drama. When that happens I have to turn off my phones and put my focus back on me. It's a really difficult situation when grandchildren are involved. If I want my granddaughter to have something I purchase it for her. I never give the money to my daughter as it might disappear. I spend a lot of time with my granddaughter and try to bring stability and positivity to her life. She is an incredibly easy, joyful child who always wants to be helpful and do the right thing. I know how stressful this is for you. Please try to focus on yourself and be kind to yourself. Do things you enjoy, learn about boundaries, and start enforcing healthy ones with your daughter. Sending peace to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 746615, member: 11235"] I've been down a similar road with my daughter. At one point when my granddaughter was about 2 y/o I put her out of my house for her refusal to follow the rules in the contract I had her sign when she moved back in. They bounced around a lot and I was worried sick, but I didn't give any financial help, etc. I even called my parents and asked them not to help either but I have no idea if they did or not. My granddaughter is 9 now and my daughter has been relatively stable the last 4 years. By stable I mean having a place to live, a job and being able to pay her bills for the most part. My daughter is an alcoholic and swings between sobriety and not sobriety. She had a horrible boyfriend for probably 7 years off and on. They broke up about a year ago and she got into a relationship with her 5th grade boyfriend, who lives in a different state. She is now pregnant again. Not what I would choose for her, but it will keep her sober for a bit. She has kept a job and finished a full semester at community college recently, so that is good. She's never been able to complete a semester before. Many times I have had to take breaks from communication with my daughter. These troubled adult kids are master manipulators and while I'm much better at maintain boundaries now there are times I find myself getting sucked into the drama. When that happens I have to turn off my phones and put my focus back on me. It's a really difficult situation when grandchildren are involved. If I want my granddaughter to have something I purchase it for her. I never give the money to my daughter as it might disappear. I spend a lot of time with my granddaughter and try to bring stability and positivity to her life. She is an incredibly easy, joyful child who always wants to be helpful and do the right thing. I know how stressful this is for you. Please try to focus on yourself and be kind to yourself. Do things you enjoy, learn about boundaries, and start enforcing healthy ones with your daughter. Sending peace to you. [/QUOTE]
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