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Substance Abuse
Adult daughter living with me on drugs
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 656878" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Toughlovin, where does the responsibility of a parent end and where does the responsibility of an adult child begin?</p><p></p><p>There is no guarantee that making an adult child leave, will convert her into a sensible, responsible, person. Of course it is always a hope that such an outcome will result. We are only, human. </p><p></p><p>But such hope is a fantasy. Assuming that what we do or do not do...can and will control an outcome in our adult child's life...I think is a harmful fallacy.</p><p></p><p>Why? By doing so we are holding onto power in our children's lives, that rightfully belongs to our adult children. </p><p></p><p>By holding onto the illusion that we can change things by doing this or that, we dis-empower them and disrespect them. We make them weaker. We make it harder for them to learn what they need to learn, so as to achieve self respect and autonomy.</p><p></p><p>Kicking out an adult child is risky. Allowing an adult child to stay at whom who you suspect may be using drugs or doing other harmful things, is equally so. </p><p></p><p>And that is leaving aside the consequences for parents or other family in the home. If the presence of the adult child is problematic or worrisome, how is it that this person's needs and interests are more important than are, those of the rest? </p><p></p><p>I have come to believe that choosing the welfare of my adult son over my own welfare and that of my SO, disrespects everybody. I have learned that I cannot control my son's life, nor should I.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 656878, member: 18958"] Toughlovin, where does the responsibility of a parent end and where does the responsibility of an adult child begin? There is no guarantee that making an adult child leave, will convert her into a sensible, responsible, person. Of course it is always a hope that such an outcome will result. We are only, human. But such hope is a fantasy. Assuming that what we do or do not do...can and will control an outcome in our adult child's life...I think is a harmful fallacy. Why? By doing so we are holding onto power in our children's lives, that rightfully belongs to our adult children. By holding onto the illusion that we can change things by doing this or that, we dis-empower them and disrespect them. We make them weaker. We make it harder for them to learn what they need to learn, so as to achieve self respect and autonomy. Kicking out an adult child is risky. Allowing an adult child to stay at whom who you suspect may be using drugs or doing other harmful things, is equally so. And that is leaving aside the consequences for parents or other family in the home. If the presence of the adult child is problematic or worrisome, how is it that this person's needs and interests are more important than are, those of the rest? I have come to believe that choosing the welfare of my adult son over my own welfare and that of my SO, disrespects everybody. I have learned that I cannot control my son's life, nor should I. [/QUOTE]
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Adult daughter living with me on drugs
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