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General Parenting
Adult daughter/rape victim/constant lying
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 652646" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>First off, as your daughter appears to be an adult, this should be in the Parents Emeritus forum which is for adult children. A moderator will probably move it for you so don't worry about it as this happens all the time.</p><p></p><p>As for your daughter, is she acknowledging that she has a problem? Is she seeking help? The problem with the adult children is that, because they are adults, we cant force them to go to a counselor or doctors appointment. The lying, stealing, not paying bills, missing work, all sound like she might be self medicating with illegal drugs. She could just be having a tough time dealing with the memories but the stealing tends to be a good indicator of substance abuse. </p><p></p><p>Talk to her and try to get her to go to counseling but understand that if she wont go, you are powerless. I hate to say this because it can sound a bit cold blooded, but if she wont listen to you, you may need to detach from her a bit and let this run its course. If she is having substance abuse issues it will take her hitting rock bottom and deciding to reach out for help herself. This isn't easy, I can tell you from personal experience, but you CAN survive it with help. This board is a good place to start as there is a wealth of information and experience here. Get counseling yourself. </p><p></p><p>Sorry you had to come here but welcome to our crazy little corner of the internet!</p><p></p><p>PS-Nobody here has all the answers. One of our favorite sayings about the advice offered is to take what you want/need and leave the rest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 652646, member: 18238"] First off, as your daughter appears to be an adult, this should be in the Parents Emeritus forum which is for adult children. A moderator will probably move it for you so don't worry about it as this happens all the time. As for your daughter, is she acknowledging that she has a problem? Is she seeking help? The problem with the adult children is that, because they are adults, we cant force them to go to a counselor or doctors appointment. The lying, stealing, not paying bills, missing work, all sound like she might be self medicating with illegal drugs. She could just be having a tough time dealing with the memories but the stealing tends to be a good indicator of substance abuse. Talk to her and try to get her to go to counseling but understand that if she wont go, you are powerless. I hate to say this because it can sound a bit cold blooded, but if she wont listen to you, you may need to detach from her a bit and let this run its course. If she is having substance abuse issues it will take her hitting rock bottom and deciding to reach out for help herself. This isn't easy, I can tell you from personal experience, but you CAN survive it with help. This board is a good place to start as there is a wealth of information and experience here. Get counseling yourself. Sorry you had to come here but welcome to our crazy little corner of the internet! PS-Nobody here has all the answers. One of our favorite sayings about the advice offered is to take what you want/need and leave the rest. [/QUOTE]
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