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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 549520" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>adt,that cusp you speak of is the razors edge, where all of those feelings come up, 'you should have, you could have, you must endure, it's on you,' and one piece at a time, you look at those thoughts and dismantle them so that you begin to see the truth. You didn't cause this, you can't change it, you can't cure it, only he can do that. I had all of those thoughts and I imagine most of us Mom's here on this board who are dealing with detachment, have. It hurts, it takes time, it takes soul searching and decisions you never wanted to make. I know. I'm so sorry, I can hear how lost you feel, I've felt that too. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there, keep posting, the hardest part is where you are, choosing to let go and going over and over in your mind what YOU could have done differently. You've done it all, now it's time to give him the reigns to his own life and take yourself out of the equation. </p><p></p><p>For what's it's worth, I have been exactly where you find yourself and it's a process, one step at a time, <em><u>but it will get better.</u></em> I hope you have support around you, because this is very challenging to do on our own. I am estranged from my daughter and haven't spoken to her in almost 5 weeks and each day MY life gets easier and more peaceful. There are others here who have made a similar choice and their lives got easier too. I know how hard it is to do what you're doing, but you're doing it, you're going through it and the way you just described it is the way it is, those doubts are devastating, but that is part of this, you have to walk through all those doubts to get to the other side. You're lost in all the feelings but you know, on some level, that you're doing the right thing. Follow that. You'll find your way. You're not alone. We're here. Gentle hugs coming your way........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 549520, member: 13542"] adt,that cusp you speak of is the razors edge, where all of those feelings come up, 'you should have, you could have, you must endure, it's on you,' and one piece at a time, you look at those thoughts and dismantle them so that you begin to see the truth. You didn't cause this, you can't change it, you can't cure it, only he can do that. I had all of those thoughts and I imagine most of us Mom's here on this board who are dealing with detachment, have. It hurts, it takes time, it takes soul searching and decisions you never wanted to make. I know. I'm so sorry, I can hear how lost you feel, I've felt that too. Hang in there, keep posting, the hardest part is where you are, choosing to let go and going over and over in your mind what YOU could have done differently. You've done it all, now it's time to give him the reigns to his own life and take yourself out of the equation. For what's it's worth, I have been exactly where you find yourself and it's a process, one step at a time, [I][U]but it will get better.[/U][/I] I hope you have support around you, because this is very challenging to do on our own. I am estranged from my daughter and haven't spoken to her in almost 5 weeks and each day MY life gets easier and more peaceful. There are others here who have made a similar choice and their lives got easier too. I know how hard it is to do what you're doing, but you're doing it, you're going through it and the way you just described it is the way it is, those doubts are devastating, but that is part of this, you have to walk through all those doubts to get to the other side. You're lost in all the feelings but you know, on some level, that you're doing the right thing. Follow that. You'll find your way. You're not alone. We're here. Gentle hugs coming your way........ [/QUOTE]
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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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