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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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<blockquote data-quote="Bambie" data-source="post: 549573" data-attributes="member: 15169"><p>Thank you recoveringenabler....for your thoughts. I appreciate them so much. I also admire you for the strength you seem to have.....and GOD bless you. You sound like a great person. Also, it is nice in an ironic way that I have others to share these frustrations and feelings. I am not saying that I am happy everyone is going through this horror....but glad that I am not just crazy....as I sometimes feel. I believe that somehow I created this monster that has grown in my son.....he had a good life. I had a great job (law enforcement...as well as my husband too) and they say that "cops" kids can be some of the worse. I am a true believer of that. I worked as a bailiff in juvenile court and felt so much for those poor kids....but I often wonder if I provided too well as a result. It may have been my way of helping others....through my kids. I dont know...it is hard to say. My daughter is 32 and a great kid......no problems like my son...and they were raised the same. So I dont know what happened. However, my daughter has another problem. She tends to be in one relationship after the other....and all abusive. She works full time, does not USE DRUGS and owned her own home (at 26) and had it completely paid for...but lost it due to poor investment decisions and bad economy. Now she rents and appears to be dependent on abusive men. Although I dont want to get going on that problem....but it is just a sign to me that something went wrong along the way and I often blame myself. I can deal with that as long as she stays away from these men and keeps her kids safe....which she is finally starting to do. But it has caused a strain on our relationship....because she seems to blame me for "getting involved".....although she got my husband and I involved with pleas for help, etc. It is a NO WIN situation with her. Two different kids and two different problems. My gr-daughter??? 17 years old and we thought we made it through the rough years....but as of last night, we had another blow up. She is an independent teen that wants it her way....has her license, drives our car and we pay her insurance...but she is out doing pot and hash oil purchases (as we found out last night). She wonders why we get mad????and cant understand why we take the car from her. I wont go through the same hell her dad put me through..... Why do some parents have kids that appreciate them no matter what.....? I have never been in trouble, never been turned into CPS, etc etc...but somethiing about my parenting is off and I cant understand it. My husband and I are getting too old to start over again....and feel as though all our money is going toward helping our kids... Thank you so much everyone....and I appreciate everyone's comments.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bambie, post: 549573, member: 15169"] Thank you recoveringenabler....for your thoughts. I appreciate them so much. I also admire you for the strength you seem to have.....and GOD bless you. You sound like a great person. Also, it is nice in an ironic way that I have others to share these frustrations and feelings. I am not saying that I am happy everyone is going through this horror....but glad that I am not just crazy....as I sometimes feel. I believe that somehow I created this monster that has grown in my son.....he had a good life. I had a great job (law enforcement...as well as my husband too) and they say that "cops" kids can be some of the worse. I am a true believer of that. I worked as a bailiff in juvenile court and felt so much for those poor kids....but I often wonder if I provided too well as a result. It may have been my way of helping others....through my kids. I dont know...it is hard to say. My daughter is 32 and a great kid......no problems like my son...and they were raised the same. So I dont know what happened. However, my daughter has another problem. She tends to be in one relationship after the other....and all abusive. She works full time, does not USE DRUGS and owned her own home (at 26) and had it completely paid for...but lost it due to poor investment decisions and bad economy. Now she rents and appears to be dependent on abusive men. Although I dont want to get going on that problem....but it is just a sign to me that something went wrong along the way and I often blame myself. I can deal with that as long as she stays away from these men and keeps her kids safe....which she is finally starting to do. But it has caused a strain on our relationship....because she seems to blame me for "getting involved".....although she got my husband and I involved with pleas for help, etc. It is a NO WIN situation with her. Two different kids and two different problems. My gr-daughter??? 17 years old and we thought we made it through the rough years....but as of last night, we had another blow up. She is an independent teen that wants it her way....has her license, drives our car and we pay her insurance...but she is out doing pot and hash oil purchases (as we found out last night). She wonders why we get mad????and cant understand why we take the car from her. I wont go through the same hell her dad put me through..... Why do some parents have kids that appreciate them no matter what.....? I have never been in trouble, never been turned into CPS, etc etc...but somethiing about my parenting is off and I cant understand it. My husband and I are getting too old to start over again....and feel as though all our money is going toward helping our kids... Thank you so much everyone....and I appreciate everyone's comments. [/QUOTE]
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