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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 549647" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Blackgnat, just wanted you to know that I read your post and I am sorry for all the issues you are dealing with. I also enabled my daughter and had major guilt about that. At some point, we have to let go of that guilt and realize that at this point, regardless of what we did or didn't do, it is now up to them to make their lives into something healthy and successful. I'm glad you're in therapy, I learned the same thing, 'our helping isn't helping.' Good point. </p><p></p><p>Just as an aside, what helps me to remember is that my parents, (lots of mental illness there) did major damage to myself and my siblings and I had to take responsibility for that and heal myself......it took years and it was hard and I did it. Unfortunately, now our kids have to take responsibility and get the help they need, on their own, and we have to let them do it. </p><p></p><p>It's good your son is in a program where he has to earn everything, he has been given another chance, I hope he takes it. I know it's not easy, hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself, you did the best you knew how to do. Forgive yourself and learn to detach. I send you caring thoughts for this to get easier for you. (((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 549647, member: 13542"] Blackgnat, just wanted you to know that I read your post and I am sorry for all the issues you are dealing with. I also enabled my daughter and had major guilt about that. At some point, we have to let go of that guilt and realize that at this point, regardless of what we did or didn't do, it is now up to them to make their lives into something healthy and successful. I'm glad you're in therapy, I learned the same thing, 'our helping isn't helping.' Good point. Just as an aside, what helps me to remember is that my parents, (lots of mental illness there) did major damage to myself and my siblings and I had to take responsibility for that and heal myself......it took years and it was hard and I did it. Unfortunately, now our kids have to take responsibility and get the help they need, on their own, and we have to let them do it. It's good your son is in a program where he has to earn everything, he has been given another chance, I hope he takes it. I know it's not easy, hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself, you did the best you knew how to do. Forgive yourself and learn to detach. I send you caring thoughts for this to get easier for you. (((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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