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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 29783" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>MIT, what you're living is my greatest fear for my difficult child son. We put up with a lot of crud from him to keep him in the house and "safe". So far, while disrespectful and disobedient he hasn't been abusive, thieving, or anything that would FORCE me to put him out (much as I've wanted to) :grrr:</p><p></p><p>It's different for everyone, but wife and I have talked about this several times. While our difficult child is under 18, if he disappears for too long we're going to call the police and get juvie cops involved.</p><p></p><p>Once he's 18, though, if we ever try the tough-love approach, it would be for the same reason as you: expecting that he'd hit bottom and eventually either end up at home asking for help, or in jail getting help. But, if that didn't happen, and he was truly out of his mind wonky on drugs, we would try to have him committed against his will. </p><p></p><p>Don't know if that would work, but it's the only plan we have. Seems like I'm surrounded by former difficult children at work who came out of the shadows to talk when we started having problems. Lots of them went to rehab; some voluntarily, some against their will. Some "woke up" and saw how bad things could <strong>really</strong> be, and some simply found out better ways to acquire and ingest drugs.</p><p></p><p>Our decision, if it ever came to that (fingers crossed that it doesnt), is if difficult child is out on his own and doesn't hit bottom bad enough to get help, then we're going to "help" him a bit. I've said several times that having him love and care about me is third on the list of things I want him to do. If he finally gets help, but hates me, then at least he got the help he needs. As a parent, my concern for his well-being is stronger than my need for his love and acceptance.</p><p></p><p>So, I would have to agree that if the tough-love approach didn't cause her to bounce off the bottom, then it's time to rope her back in and try a different approach. But, that's only what <strong>I</strong> would do, and I'm just a newbie here so YMMV.</p><p></p><p>Prayers for grace for you and yours.</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 29783, member: 3579"] MIT, what you're living is my greatest fear for my difficult child son. We put up with a lot of crud from him to keep him in the house and "safe". So far, while disrespectful and disobedient he hasn't been abusive, thieving, or anything that would FORCE me to put him out (much as I've wanted to) [img]:grrr:[/img] It's different for everyone, but wife and I have talked about this several times. While our difficult child is under 18, if he disappears for too long we're going to call the police and get juvie cops involved. Once he's 18, though, if we ever try the tough-love approach, it would be for the same reason as you: expecting that he'd hit bottom and eventually either end up at home asking for help, or in jail getting help. But, if that didn't happen, and he was truly out of his mind wonky on drugs, we would try to have him committed against his will. Don't know if that would work, but it's the only plan we have. Seems like I'm surrounded by former difficult children at work who came out of the shadows to talk when we started having problems. Lots of them went to rehab; some voluntarily, some against their will. Some "woke up" and saw how bad things could [b]really[/b] be, and some simply found out better ways to acquire and ingest drugs. Our decision, if it ever came to that (fingers crossed that it doesnt), is if difficult child is out on his own and doesn't hit bottom bad enough to get help, then we're going to "help" him a bit. I've said several times that having him love and care about me is third on the list of things I want him to do. If he finally gets help, but hates me, then at least he got the help he needs. As a parent, my concern for his well-being is stronger than my need for his love and acceptance. So, I would have to agree that if the tough-love approach didn't cause her to bounce off the bottom, then it's time to rope her back in and try a different approach. But, that's only what [b]I[/b] would do, and I'm just a newbie here so YMMV. Prayers for grace for you and yours. Mikey [/QUOTE]
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