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Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 162143" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Tryinghard,</p><p>This statement just hit me like a ton of bricks. These are EXACTLY the sort of mind-games that my difficult child-mother used to do to me. It IS abuse, do not have any doubt about that. Emotional abuse like that is so very hard to deal with because it's insidious and it's really hard not to get caught up in it.</p><p></p><p>Look at the statements for what they mean, not for the words she's using:</p><p>"I'm only being honest" -- I get to say mean and spiteful things whenever I want. If something needs to be said, there are softer and gentler ways of saying it. If the only result is hurt, then perhaps the best course is to keep quiet and not say it at all. Saying something cruel and then falling back on "I'm just being honest" is manipulative and spiteful.</p><p></p><p>"Family is supposed to stand by each other no matter what" -- no matter how badly I treat you, you're supposed to stand by me and be there for me and help me. Not acceptable.</p><p></p><p>You shouldn't have to put up with being treated that way by anyone.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 162143, member: 3907"] Tryinghard, This statement just hit me like a ton of bricks. These are EXACTLY the sort of mind-games that my difficult child-mother used to do to me. It IS abuse, do not have any doubt about that. Emotional abuse like that is so very hard to deal with because it's insidious and it's really hard not to get caught up in it. Look at the statements for what they mean, not for the words she's using: "I'm only being honest" -- I get to say mean and spiteful things whenever I want. If something needs to be said, there are softer and gentler ways of saying it. If the only result is hurt, then perhaps the best course is to keep quiet and not say it at all. Saying something cruel and then falling back on "I'm just being honest" is manipulative and spiteful. "Family is supposed to stand by each other no matter what" -- no matter how badly I treat you, you're supposed to stand by me and be there for me and help me. Not acceptable. You shouldn't have to put up with being treated that way by anyone. Hugs for your hurting heart. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
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