Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 162284" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>My best friend whose father treated her so shamefully by constantly being mean about her weight (and even inviting visitors in to "see the fat girl having her bath") - he would respond to criticism (or hurt) with, "But I was only joking."</p><p></p><p>Her response (now) - "it was not funny."</p><p></p><p>Responses like that to 'justify' being cruel are actually further abuse, because in such a response is a defiant insistence that what they just said/did was right and any objection is mean-spirited and narrow-minded, as well as lacking a sense of humour. So instead of getting an apology of the abuser backing down, you get another serve of abuse on top.</p><p></p><p>Is it any wonder that people just take the abuse and don't fight back after a while? Or even begin to see themselves as at fault?</p><p></p><p>I say to my friend, I wonder what happened to her father in his childhood, to make him like this? Apparently his father was abusive to such an extent that his mother sent him away in his teens. He never talked about his father; my friend gleaned that info from her aunt. But his understanding of how to be a father was clearly twisted.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 162284, member: 1991"] My best friend whose father treated her so shamefully by constantly being mean about her weight (and even inviting visitors in to "see the fat girl having her bath") - he would respond to criticism (or hurt) with, "But I was only joking." Her response (now) - "it was not funny." Responses like that to 'justify' being cruel are actually further abuse, because in such a response is a defiant insistence that what they just said/did was right and any objection is mean-spirited and narrow-minded, as well as lacking a sense of humour. So instead of getting an apology of the abuser backing down, you get another serve of abuse on top. Is it any wonder that people just take the abuse and don't fight back after a while? Or even begin to see themselves as at fault? I say to my friend, I wonder what happened to her father in his childhood, to make him like this? Apparently his father was abusive to such an extent that his mother sent him away in his teens. He never talked about his father; my friend gleaned that info from her aunt. But his understanding of how to be a father was clearly twisted. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
Top