Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 162548" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I'm sorry for those things you did not have, which you feel were important in life to you. </p><p> </p><p>I went through the "you're worthless" business with my x and my son. I wasn't able to keep having ugliness hurled at me to tell me how worthless I was or how little I tried, or how I failed - so I walked away, got counseling with a therapist, got my self esteem in check and NOW I am able to stand up against anything. And I know that the ugliness while coming my way - really doesnt' get to stick in my brain. </p><p> </p><p>And with that in mind I can tell you that those people can't hurt me anymore because I am secure within my own self. I no longer believe that I'm a piece of ****, worthless, and I would tell myself before that I wasn't - but it stuck. After therapy and soul searching? I think I could sit in a room with my x - and let him just roll out the ugliness and watch his mouth move but not hear a word he said. It wouldn't stick anymore. His opinion no longer counts in my life, and I don't measure myself any longer by others opinions of me. </p><p> </p><p>THAT is what I think you would have to do and in the place you would need to be to continue a relationship with your very ill and very toxic Mom. Right now? I think it's become a way of life for you and you "accept" it - but you aren't OVER it. When what she says no longer counts and you are only around her becuase she's your Mom and you love her - THEN I think you could deal with it. Not now. You dont' have enough battle armor yet to not let her opinon count (not for real) in your lfe. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 162548, member: 4964"] I'm sorry for those things you did not have, which you feel were important in life to you. I went through the "you're worthless" business with my x and my son. I wasn't able to keep having ugliness hurled at me to tell me how worthless I was or how little I tried, or how I failed - so I walked away, got counseling with a therapist, got my self esteem in check and NOW I am able to stand up against anything. And I know that the ugliness while coming my way - really doesnt' get to stick in my brain. And with that in mind I can tell you that those people can't hurt me anymore because I am secure within my own self. I no longer believe that I'm a piece of ****, worthless, and I would tell myself before that I wasn't - but it stuck. After therapy and soul searching? I think I could sit in a room with my x - and let him just roll out the ugliness and watch his mouth move but not hear a word he said. It wouldn't stick anymore. His opinion no longer counts in my life, and I don't measure myself any longer by others opinions of me. THAT is what I think you would have to do and in the place you would need to be to continue a relationship with your very ill and very toxic Mom. Right now? I think it's become a way of life for you and you "accept" it - but you aren't OVER it. When what she says no longer counts and you are only around her becuase she's your Mom and you love her - THEN I think you could deal with it. Not now. You dont' have enough battle armor yet to not let her opinon count (not for real) in your lfe. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
Top