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General Parenting
Advice re childminder
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 431157" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I have a slightly delicate situation with a childminder. As I mentioned, she is quite punitive - constantly scolding her own children and J when she looks after him. She is a perfectly nice person and J has known her since he was a baby and gets on with her two children. So it's not a relationship I want to fracture. However, I do want to say something to her about her methods in relation to J's temperament and hyperactivity. The problem is that she is VERY sensitive to criticism. I once asked J - when he was 3 - what he had had for lunch at this childminder's. "Sugar!" he replied. I sent her a text to say that J had told me he had had sugar for lunch, thinking it would make her laugh, and she sent back an angry message along the lines of "How can you think I would give a child sugar for lunch?"... I am trying to cut down on additives for J and recently asked her if she would not give him the biscuits, etc, that she gives her children and him and again she took this rather amiss and I had to be very conciliatory and diplomatic to unruffle her feathers. So I am naturally fearful that if I ask her this, she is going to take umbrage, thinking that I am criticising her child-rearing methods... Eggshells! She doesn't, as is common, really know anything about hyperactivity or think that J has a particular problem. Should I give her some literature to read? How can I frame my request? Any ideas gratefully received...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 431157, member: 11227"] I have a slightly delicate situation with a childminder. As I mentioned, she is quite punitive - constantly scolding her own children and J when she looks after him. She is a perfectly nice person and J has known her since he was a baby and gets on with her two children. So it's not a relationship I want to fracture. However, I do want to say something to her about her methods in relation to J's temperament and hyperactivity. The problem is that she is VERY sensitive to criticism. I once asked J - when he was 3 - what he had had for lunch at this childminder's. "Sugar!" he replied. I sent her a text to say that J had told me he had had sugar for lunch, thinking it would make her laugh, and she sent back an angry message along the lines of "How can you think I would give a child sugar for lunch?"... I am trying to cut down on additives for J and recently asked her if she would not give him the biscuits, etc, that she gives her children and him and again she took this rather amiss and I had to be very conciliatory and diplomatic to unruffle her feathers. So I am naturally fearful that if I ask her this, she is going to take umbrage, thinking that I am criticising her child-rearing methods... Eggshells! She doesn't, as is common, really know anything about hyperactivity or think that J has a particular problem. Should I give her some literature to read? How can I frame my request? Any ideas gratefully received... [/QUOTE]
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