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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 235217" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Welcome!</p><p>.</p><p>I would like to address your anxiety over leaving your child at a psychiatric hospital. I completely understand! My difficult child was 11 years old and only one time in his entire life did he sleep overnight without mom or dad in the home. Our situation is a little different in that he begged to be hospitalized making it easier but he still went through those very strong separation homesick feelings. </p><p></p><p>psychiatric hospital were new to us. When staff told us that I would only be allowed contact during visiting hours, the look of total fright that came to his face was haunting. I knew his thoughts were, "No, I changed my mind. I can not do this." My panic was right there with him but I reminded him (and myself) that he had stated he would do ANYTHING to get rid of these feelings of self harm. He COULD do this. The psychiatric hospital was one hour from home and so he requested that I stay overnight in that town. He knew he could not contact me but if he knew I was close by, it would be easier for him. So, I did stay at hotels every night for almost the entire two weeks. I don't know that I would have been able to be home knowing he wasn't in his bed. I would get up in the morning and drive home to work all day and then back to visit him every night.</p><p></p><p>I tell you, I cried all the way home that afternoon to get him a change of clothes. I called the school and talked to the church secretary to ask that she tell his teacher and also one of the pastors. I received a call from another friend and cried my heart out to her also. I feared telling husband. This was so unexpected. All husband asked was if difficult child wanted this. I think it really upset him. But I didn't care, I knew that this was best for difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Kids who are struggling usually do super well in phosps. They quickly learn the structure and that structure helps them feel safe. Rules and consequences are clear and immediate. Staff do not have the emotional ties that confuse the consequences as parents sometimes do. The kids can concentrate on their struggles. The focus is always on their behavior.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it is super hard to leave your child with people you do not know. You have to trust that they have your child's best interest in mind. They will work with your child and give him coping skills.</p><p></p><p>When my difficult child returned after two weeks, he felt homesick for the psychiatric hospital so we implemented the bedtime structure at home.</p><p></p><p>Another cool thing for us was that after a week difficult child was on a pass with me and asked, "Mom, do you know what I hate most about being here?" "I hate that you are missing out on watching me grow up!" He was gaining so much strength and coping skills that he really felt like he was growing up (which he was). I told him that I can see the changes and I am still able to watch him while he grows up during this hospitalization.</p><p></p><p>On a side note, if you do make the decision to have your son hospitalized, make sure that the passes are clearly defined for you. I was told my difficult child was going to have a pass and I did not understand it was for the entire day. I thought it was only to take him off grounds during visiting hours. So, if you are offered a pass, ask, "What hours are the pass good for?"</p><p></p><p>Think about how you want to continue. Do you need a drastic change? Will anything be better than what you are going through now? You are in a nightmare that is getting worse and worse. I think a psychiatric hospital can help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 235217, member: 5096"] Welcome! . I would like to address your anxiety over leaving your child at a psychiatric hospital. I completely understand! My difficult child was 11 years old and only one time in his entire life did he sleep overnight without mom or dad in the home. Our situation is a little different in that he begged to be hospitalized making it easier but he still went through those very strong separation homesick feelings. psychiatric hospital were new to us. When staff told us that I would only be allowed contact during visiting hours, the look of total fright that came to his face was haunting. I knew his thoughts were, "No, I changed my mind. I can not do this." My panic was right there with him but I reminded him (and myself) that he had stated he would do ANYTHING to get rid of these feelings of self harm. He COULD do this. The psychiatric hospital was one hour from home and so he requested that I stay overnight in that town. He knew he could not contact me but if he knew I was close by, it would be easier for him. So, I did stay at hotels every night for almost the entire two weeks. I don't know that I would have been able to be home knowing he wasn't in his bed. I would get up in the morning and drive home to work all day and then back to visit him every night. I tell you, I cried all the way home that afternoon to get him a change of clothes. I called the school and talked to the church secretary to ask that she tell his teacher and also one of the pastors. I received a call from another friend and cried my heart out to her also. I feared telling husband. This was so unexpected. All husband asked was if difficult child wanted this. I think it really upset him. But I didn't care, I knew that this was best for difficult child. Kids who are struggling usually do super well in phosps. They quickly learn the structure and that structure helps them feel safe. Rules and consequences are clear and immediate. Staff do not have the emotional ties that confuse the consequences as parents sometimes do. The kids can concentrate on their struggles. The focus is always on their behavior. Yes, it is super hard to leave your child with people you do not know. You have to trust that they have your child's best interest in mind. They will work with your child and give him coping skills. When my difficult child returned after two weeks, he felt homesick for the psychiatric hospital so we implemented the bedtime structure at home. Another cool thing for us was that after a week difficult child was on a pass with me and asked, "Mom, do you know what I hate most about being here?" "I hate that you are missing out on watching me grow up!" He was gaining so much strength and coping skills that he really felt like he was growing up (which he was). I told him that I can see the changes and I am still able to watch him while he grows up during this hospitalization. On a side note, if you do make the decision to have your son hospitalized, make sure that the passes are clearly defined for you. I was told my difficult child was going to have a pass and I did not understand it was for the entire day. I thought it was only to take him off grounds during visiting hours. So, if you are offered a pass, ask, "What hours are the pass good for?" Think about how you want to continue. Do you need a drastic change? Will anything be better than what you are going through now? You are in a nightmare that is getting worse and worse. I think a psychiatric hospital can help. [/QUOTE]
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