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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 58721" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Momof4, you said, "So, could this be his anxiety?"</p><p></p><p>My response (In Dr Phil's classic comic sarcasm), "You THINK?"</p><p></p><p>Too right, this is ALL anxiety. difficult child 3's anxiety has him vomiting. These days he's got it better controlled (plus we've reduced it by removing his worst stressor - school) so he only feels nauseous, weak, pale and gets the runs. difficult child 3 cannot accept these symptoms are due to anxiety - he still is not well enough in touch with his emotions or his body response. But in some ways, the vomiting is at least a safety valve for him, we've not had the rashes. We do get the low-grade fevers, though, which difficult child 3 will now accept as anxiety.</p><p></p><p>Well after the event, when things have calmed down and difficult child 3 is feeling much better, we can debrief about it and he can then understand (a bit) that the symptoms were due to anxiety, but often just talking about it will set off the anxiety symptoms again.</p><p></p><p>While difficult child 3 has a specialist who sees him regularly, we also got him to a psychologist for specific help with anxiety and coping strategies. difficult child 3 cannot take antidepressants and I don't want to drug him out of it all, I want him to learn to adapt as far as possible. Cognitive behaviour therapy did help a lot. We've stopped for now as we're coping. For now.</p><p></p><p>We can't take difficult child 3 off stims or he loses his speech. Sounds weird, I know, but no stims - no go.</p><p></p><p>The suggestion to keep a log - I heartily endorse it. We've kept such a diary on difficult child 3, I even went back and filled in what I could remember from his early childhood, also using reports of earlier assessments.</p><p></p><p>We also have had to censor what we tell difficult child 3. It was two years at least before he learned about 9/11. All news was strongly censored. And then he learned about it at school in a "news for kids" TV show on why we were going to Iraq. Dealing with it so much later made it easier for him to cope.</p><p></p><p>Storms - difficult child 3 isn't fazed by storms, thank goodness, unless they get really bad and he's worried about the trees coming down on our house. Thankfully, the sort of tornados we get ("willy willys") are much smaller and you just don't see them coming, so I don't have to talk about them to difficult child 3. They are moderately rare for us, most of them in Sydney hit the northern suburbs in a narrow corridor, only about once every five years or so. For us, the trigger for panic isn't tornados, it's bushfires. It doesn't help that husband gets panicked by it too. Smoke on the horizon will have husband up on the roof with the kids cleaning out the gutters and stopping them up with tennis balls so the gutter can hold water.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't necessarily see things like food as triggers unless he has some rather extreme food sensitivities. From my experience with difficult child 3, he gets anxious for similar reasons to other people; only to a much greater degree. School made him extremely anxious, for example, because he was being bullied and he also wasn't able to cope with the routine, the noises, the distractions and the intensity of it all. </p><p></p><p>Separation anxiety could still be a factor even if difficult child doesn't seem to react - it's like difficult child 3 insisting that he's not anxious, he has no reason to be, as he then complains of feeling sick while we are wandering around a strongly volcanic area on our recent holiday in New Zealand! (Before we'd left, difficult child 3 had been in full panic mode about volcanic activity - I KNEW he was anxious at Rotarua, and yet he couldn't see it himself, he was convinced he had a tummy bug). So yes, separation anxiety as a component IS a possibility. </p><p></p><p>Head banging and wetting himself - also likely to be classic anxiety responses. Sorry. That doesn't mean you refuse to medicate an acute episode, if medication is the way to treat it. It's just as serious if it's anxiety, or a virus.</p><p></p><p>Refusing to eat (anorexia = loss of appetite) can also be a sign of anxiety. I've also observed that difficult child 3 loses his appetite when he's anxious. Also, when he's short of sleep his coping abilities in general go out the window. The more stimulation (ie the more his brain has to process information) the more sleep a person needs. While on holiday, difficult child 3 slept an extra 2 hours a day, at least. If you try to eat when you're anxious, the food just sits there and decays in your stomach. Anxiety triggers a "fight or flight" response. Your body prepares you for fast energy output by shunting blood flow to the muscles and away from unnecessary (in the short term) stuff like digestive tract. </p><p></p><p>If you can't convince the therapist to take this degree of anxiety seriously, find someone else, preferably someone who specialises in cognitive behaviour therapy. You want action and solutions, not your hand patted. But before you make the change, give this current therapist one last chance to actually DO something.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 58721, member: 1991"] Momof4, you said, "So, could this be his anxiety?" My response (In Dr Phil's classic comic sarcasm), "You THINK?" Too right, this is ALL anxiety. difficult child 3's anxiety has him vomiting. These days he's got it better controlled (plus we've reduced it by removing his worst stressor - school) so he only feels nauseous, weak, pale and gets the runs. difficult child 3 cannot accept these symptoms are due to anxiety - he still is not well enough in touch with his emotions or his body response. But in some ways, the vomiting is at least a safety valve for him, we've not had the rashes. We do get the low-grade fevers, though, which difficult child 3 will now accept as anxiety. Well after the event, when things have calmed down and difficult child 3 is feeling much better, we can debrief about it and he can then understand (a bit) that the symptoms were due to anxiety, but often just talking about it will set off the anxiety symptoms again. While difficult child 3 has a specialist who sees him regularly, we also got him to a psychologist for specific help with anxiety and coping strategies. difficult child 3 cannot take antidepressants and I don't want to drug him out of it all, I want him to learn to adapt as far as possible. Cognitive behaviour therapy did help a lot. We've stopped for now as we're coping. For now. We can't take difficult child 3 off stims or he loses his speech. Sounds weird, I know, but no stims - no go. The suggestion to keep a log - I heartily endorse it. We've kept such a diary on difficult child 3, I even went back and filled in what I could remember from his early childhood, also using reports of earlier assessments. We also have had to censor what we tell difficult child 3. It was two years at least before he learned about 9/11. All news was strongly censored. And then he learned about it at school in a "news for kids" TV show on why we were going to Iraq. Dealing with it so much later made it easier for him to cope. Storms - difficult child 3 isn't fazed by storms, thank goodness, unless they get really bad and he's worried about the trees coming down on our house. Thankfully, the sort of tornados we get ("willy willys") are much smaller and you just don't see them coming, so I don't have to talk about them to difficult child 3. They are moderately rare for us, most of them in Sydney hit the northern suburbs in a narrow corridor, only about once every five years or so. For us, the trigger for panic isn't tornados, it's bushfires. It doesn't help that husband gets panicked by it too. Smoke on the horizon will have husband up on the roof with the kids cleaning out the gutters and stopping them up with tennis balls so the gutter can hold water. I wouldn't necessarily see things like food as triggers unless he has some rather extreme food sensitivities. From my experience with difficult child 3, he gets anxious for similar reasons to other people; only to a much greater degree. School made him extremely anxious, for example, because he was being bullied and he also wasn't able to cope with the routine, the noises, the distractions and the intensity of it all. Separation anxiety could still be a factor even if difficult child doesn't seem to react - it's like difficult child 3 insisting that he's not anxious, he has no reason to be, as he then complains of feeling sick while we are wandering around a strongly volcanic area on our recent holiday in New Zealand! (Before we'd left, difficult child 3 had been in full panic mode about volcanic activity - I KNEW he was anxious at Rotarua, and yet he couldn't see it himself, he was convinced he had a tummy bug). So yes, separation anxiety as a component IS a possibility. Head banging and wetting himself - also likely to be classic anxiety responses. Sorry. That doesn't mean you refuse to medicate an acute episode, if medication is the way to treat it. It's just as serious if it's anxiety, or a virus. Refusing to eat (anorexia = loss of appetite) can also be a sign of anxiety. I've also observed that difficult child 3 loses his appetite when he's anxious. Also, when he's short of sleep his coping abilities in general go out the window. The more stimulation (ie the more his brain has to process information) the more sleep a person needs. While on holiday, difficult child 3 slept an extra 2 hours a day, at least. If you try to eat when you're anxious, the food just sits there and decays in your stomach. Anxiety triggers a "fight or flight" response. Your body prepares you for fast energy output by shunting blood flow to the muscles and away from unnecessary (in the short term) stuff like digestive tract. If you can't convince the therapist to take this degree of anxiety seriously, find someone else, preferably someone who specialises in cognitive behaviour therapy. You want action and solutions, not your hand patted. But before you make the change, give this current therapist one last chance to actually DO something. Marg [/QUOTE]
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