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afraid of myself - long - please
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<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 231033" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>{{{Kjs}}}</p><p> </p><p>I wholeheartedly second what Sharon wrote. See... no one will appreciate or value you if you don't appreciate or value yourself. Is there anyway you can drop the second job and look for something that will allow you to sleep better (different hours or at least closer to home)? </p><p> </p><p>The way things are set up difficult child only sees you as the disciplinarian so of course he goes to his father. </p><p> </p><p>As for husband, he sounds like he will allow you to handle everything until you drop dead from exhaustion. This was a hard lesson for me... my husband would assume everything (I mean everything) was my responsibility because I'm a stay at home mom. I was like a hamster on an endless running wheel getting little or no sleep with a very difficult difficult child. I finally started telling him what he needed to do: take out the trash, make your own appointment, pick up your socks. Or a gave a choice: make dinner or bathe the baby, read a story or wash the floor, take me out to dinner or die <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />winks<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. You and husband probably need some marriage counseling especially because of the lack of intimacy. You need time together to reestablish your relationship, without difficult child so he can't triangulate and make you the bad guy.</p><p> </p><p>As for his and difficult child's relationship... there is very little you can do to make it healthy as long as husband sees himself as a buddy. I tend to be the disciplinarian around here, but my husband knows to never undermine me... or the difficult child issues will land squarely in his lap. </p><p> </p><p>{{{Hugs}}} Be gentle on yourself and take something for the hives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 231033, member: 1722"] {{{Kjs}}} I wholeheartedly second what Sharon wrote. See... no one will appreciate or value you if you don't appreciate or value yourself. Is there anyway you can drop the second job and look for something that will allow you to sleep better (different hours or at least closer to home)? The way things are set up difficult child only sees you as the disciplinarian so of course he goes to his father. As for husband, he sounds like he will allow you to handle everything until you drop dead from exhaustion. This was a hard lesson for me... my husband would assume everything (I mean everything) was my responsibility because I'm a stay at home mom. I was like a hamster on an endless running wheel getting little or no sleep with a very difficult difficult child. I finally started telling him what he needed to do: take out the trash, make your own appointment, pick up your socks. Or a gave a choice: make dinner or bathe the baby, read a story or wash the floor, take me out to dinner or die (:winks:). You and husband probably need some marriage counseling especially because of the lack of intimacy. You need time together to reestablish your relationship, without difficult child so he can't triangulate and make you the bad guy. As for his and difficult child's relationship... there is very little you can do to make it healthy as long as husband sees himself as a buddy. I tend to be the disciplinarian around here, but my husband knows to never undermine me... or the difficult child issues will land squarely in his lap. {{{Hugs}}} Be gentle on yourself and take something for the hives. [/QUOTE]
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