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afraid of myself - long - please
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 231122" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I agree whole heartedly that you need to see a counselor for <strong>you</strong>. Someone who looks out for your best interest while that same person listens, offers moral support, and helps you make decisions that are best for you.</p><p> </p><p>Let things go. Re-prioritize. </p><p> </p><p>Is cleaning really that important? You have a husband and a 14 yr old, odds are they can pick up the slack and if they don't a messy house isn't going to be a hazard for them. Same with shopping. husband's hours are more reasonable, he can manage some of the shopping too, even if it's not the bulk of it. Or if they go hungry a bit to get the message......well, it's not gonna kill them. Bills, well, no advice there. I've usually found when the women are handling the bills there is a good solid reason behind it.</p><p> </p><p>Homework is obviously a huge war zone. And being forced to deal with teachers ect due to it a mega stressor on you. None on husband, and very little on difficult child. I'm mean, difficult child has Dad who really doesn't care, and Mom buffering angry teachers. How about putting an end to the homework wars? difficult child is 14, plenty old enough to understand the natural conscequences to not turning in his work. That homework is <strong>his </strong>responsibility, not yours or husband's. That's between him and his teachers. And I know you're thinking OMG if I do that difficult child will fail. Maybe, maybe not. If he fails, well he deserves to. That's the natural conscequence to not putting forth effort. But odds are he's not going to because he's going to get all the pressure from teachers and get to enjoy all the ramifications un-buffered by you. </p><p> </p><p>Best thing I ever did for myself, and my kids, was to put a halt to the homework wars. Oddly enough, my difficult children didn't fail, they usually did better than with me hounding them over it. And I felt like a enormous weight was removed from my shoulders. It let me refocus my energy where it was actually useful and needed.</p><p> </p><p>Sweetie, right now your SuperMom cape is tattered and torn. You're burning the candle at both ends and it's catching up with you. Changes need to be made. We are all only human and can do so much, take so much before it starts wearing us right down to a breaking point.</p><p> </p><p>Sending you many warm gentle ((((hugs)))).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 231122, member: 84"] I agree whole heartedly that you need to see a counselor for [B]you[/B]. Someone who looks out for your best interest while that same person listens, offers moral support, and helps you make decisions that are best for you. Let things go. Re-prioritize. Is cleaning really that important? You have a husband and a 14 yr old, odds are they can pick up the slack and if they don't a messy house isn't going to be a hazard for them. Same with shopping. husband's hours are more reasonable, he can manage some of the shopping too, even if it's not the bulk of it. Or if they go hungry a bit to get the message......well, it's not gonna kill them. Bills, well, no advice there. I've usually found when the women are handling the bills there is a good solid reason behind it. Homework is obviously a huge war zone. And being forced to deal with teachers ect due to it a mega stressor on you. None on husband, and very little on difficult child. I'm mean, difficult child has Dad who really doesn't care, and Mom buffering angry teachers. How about putting an end to the homework wars? difficult child is 14, plenty old enough to understand the natural conscequences to not turning in his work. That homework is [B]his [/B]responsibility, not yours or husband's. That's between him and his teachers. And I know you're thinking OMG if I do that difficult child will fail. Maybe, maybe not. If he fails, well he deserves to. That's the natural conscequence to not putting forth effort. But odds are he's not going to because he's going to get all the pressure from teachers and get to enjoy all the ramifications un-buffered by you. Best thing I ever did for myself, and my kids, was to put a halt to the homework wars. Oddly enough, my difficult children didn't fail, they usually did better than with me hounding them over it. And I felt like a enormous weight was removed from my shoulders. It let me refocus my energy where it was actually useful and needed. Sweetie, right now your SuperMom cape is tattered and torn. You're burning the candle at both ends and it's catching up with you. Changes need to be made. We are all only human and can do so much, take so much before it starts wearing us right down to a breaking point. Sending you many warm gentle ((((hugs)))). [/QUOTE]
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