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afraid of myself - long - please
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 231255" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>kjs.........</p><p>I have to agree with Star*.</p><p></p><p>You have been under this stress a long, long time. You have to make a choice of some sort, and it could mean leaving and moving into your own place temporarily. </p><p></p><p>You are not responsible for everyone. You are NOT. If difficult child and husband are so bonded, than you stepping away, would cause, inevitably husband to step up to the plate for his son. And you stepping back, would inevitably cause you to find yourself. You absolutely cannot continue on this track. What you are doing is enabling both husband and difficult child, and it is killing you.</p><p></p><p>The priveledge you have here, that some do not, is that you really can step back for awhile, or away, or what ever you decide - and husband will take over difficult children care. He really will, that is obvious. The only reason he is not doing this now, is because he knows you are always there. He is using you, consiciously or sub concsiously, he is using you. And you need to demand, that he never do this again - not even one more time. Define who you WILL be, and then let husband fill in the gaps. If that means refusing to do XYZ, then do that - if it means moving - than do that. Whatever you know you can do to finally draw the line in the sand, than do it.</p><p></p><p>Research co-dependence, and enabling. That is the dysfunction you and your family are living in. And for everyone's sake it has to stop.</p><p></p><p>You are a wonderful being, and person, created for a unique reason on this earth - and it is not to be used, abused, and over-worked by others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 231255, member: 3301"] kjs......... I have to agree with Star*. You have been under this stress a long, long time. You have to make a choice of some sort, and it could mean leaving and moving into your own place temporarily. You are not responsible for everyone. You are NOT. If difficult child and husband are so bonded, than you stepping away, would cause, inevitably husband to step up to the plate for his son. And you stepping back, would inevitably cause you to find yourself. You absolutely cannot continue on this track. What you are doing is enabling both husband and difficult child, and it is killing you. The priveledge you have here, that some do not, is that you really can step back for awhile, or away, or what ever you decide - and husband will take over difficult children care. He really will, that is obvious. The only reason he is not doing this now, is because he knows you are always there. He is using you, consiciously or sub concsiously, he is using you. And you need to demand, that he never do this again - not even one more time. Define who you WILL be, and then let husband fill in the gaps. If that means refusing to do XYZ, then do that - if it means moving - than do that. Whatever you know you can do to finally draw the line in the sand, than do it. Research co-dependence, and enabling. That is the dysfunction you and your family are living in. And for everyone's sake it has to stop. You are a wonderful being, and person, created for a unique reason on this earth - and it is not to be used, abused, and over-worked by others. [/QUOTE]
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