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After months of silence, email from difficult child's girlfriend arrives today
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 632305" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Color me cynical. He still can not seem to get stable. He just moved to a new state again? And his girlfriend is writing? I would take a cautious approach. "We love and miss you. If you want to have an adult relationship with us, that is fine. That means you support yourself and don't ask us for things an adult should be doing for himself....like money for ANY reason or a place to stay. If you want to do that, OF COURSE we'd love to have a relationship with you." Cut off the money train before he approaches it. I would not, in my heart, be embracing this girlfriend. From what I know of her, she seems sneaky and manipulative, like him. I suspect he put her up to this. I wonder how he grew so much in six months. Few people do it without therapy once they are in their 30's and set in their ways.</p><p></p><p>If he takes your absolute stance that money or living at home is out, well, then go forward with a healthy dose of cynicism in your mind. If he spazzes or goes silent again, then you have your answer. In so many ways he reminds me of my own son. That is something my son would do...get someone else to write to me because, although he is very verbally abusive when I allow it, he is also basically afraid of people. Especially when he is asking for something he knows we don't want to give. Often he will ask me to call ex for him to try to talk him into giving him some money, which I refuse to do. But he still keeps asking me...lol. His only relationship with his father has been about the money he could get out of him. He wants other things from me. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 632305, member: 1550"] Color me cynical. He still can not seem to get stable. He just moved to a new state again? And his girlfriend is writing? I would take a cautious approach. "We love and miss you. If you want to have an adult relationship with us, that is fine. That means you support yourself and don't ask us for things an adult should be doing for himself....like money for ANY reason or a place to stay. If you want to do that, OF COURSE we'd love to have a relationship with you." Cut off the money train before he approaches it. I would not, in my heart, be embracing this girlfriend. From what I know of her, she seems sneaky and manipulative, like him. I suspect he put her up to this. I wonder how he grew so much in six months. Few people do it without therapy once they are in their 30's and set in their ways. If he takes your absolute stance that money or living at home is out, well, then go forward with a healthy dose of cynicism in your mind. If he spazzes or goes silent again, then you have your answer. In so many ways he reminds me of my own son. That is something my son would do...get someone else to write to me because, although he is very verbally abusive when I allow it, he is also basically afraid of people. Especially when he is asking for something he knows we don't want to give. Often he will ask me to call ex for him to try to talk him into giving him some money, which I refuse to do. But he still keeps asking me...lol. His only relationship with his father has been about the money he could get out of him. He wants other things from me. :) [/QUOTE]
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After months of silence, email from difficult child's girlfriend arrives today
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