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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 678999" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I have been at work and will work again tomorrow, and cannot respond as I wish. Yes, Copa. Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way at Work) was incredibly helpful to me. That is where I learned the concept of Morning Pages. In trying to get those three pages, we get to the core. This is not elegant or precise. The idea is to gut out the three pages. On the other issue: If we have been raised by sadists, our feeling state that tells us we are thinking correctly will be a masochistic feeling state. This feeling state will tell us that if we are punishing ourselves, we are correct. This thinking is wrong. That is what I am looking at recently. It has been explosively eye opening. </p><p></p><p>They were wrong.</p><p></p><p>We cannot win if we do not believe in ourselves. We were brought up to believe never, ever, to risk channeling our own energies into ourselves. And just think: We have still accomplished education, good, good parenting, kindness, beautiful lives. But we have been taught, from a time before we knew words, that it was wrong to believe in ourselves. That is what I am looking at now. Guilt, as a go to response. Self abnegation, as a go to response. The assumption, not only that the other guy is smarter or better prepared, but that to question the authority figure is a death defying action. These are the mindsets hurt into us, if we have been raised by maliciously narcissistic parents.</p><p></p><p>Once we can see that you guys? We are free. Monitor emotional responses to the simplest things. Getting up in the morning. What is our self talk? How would it compare to the self talk of someone raised in a loving supportive environment. The difference will be the difference between Heaven and Hell.</p><p></p><p>That is where we need to be, to address and heal what was done to us.</p><p></p><p>Right there.</p><p></p><p>Bree Brown's "Sit with the feelings. Do nothing. Note them and do nothing." works here. (Not a direct quote.) You will be amazed and appalled at the internal messages we have been hurt into.</p><p></p><p>Yes, Leafy. Finding a way to be healthy would be valuable. But if we have been raised to assume destruction of self is appropriate, we will self-sabotage. If we can identify those places where we have been raised to sabotage ourselves, we can end it. Think of my mother: "Just don't think, Cedar." "Don't you dare."</p><p></p><p>How could we ever have succeeded with those internal messages.</p><p></p><p>Yet, we did. To an incredible degree, we did. We loved. We committed. These things should have been impossible for us but we did those things.</p><p></p><p>We are doing the impossible.</p><p></p><p>We can do this too.</p><p></p><p>But D H is wanting me downstairs for dinner. I work tomorrow, and will be back Monday.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 678999, member: 17461"] I have been at work and will work again tomorrow, and cannot respond as I wish. Yes, Copa. Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way at Work) was incredibly helpful to me. That is where I learned the concept of Morning Pages. In trying to get those three pages, we get to the core. This is not elegant or precise. The idea is to gut out the three pages. On the other issue: If we have been raised by sadists, our feeling state that tells us we are thinking correctly will be a masochistic feeling state. This feeling state will tell us that if we are punishing ourselves, we are correct. This thinking is wrong. That is what I am looking at recently. It has been explosively eye opening. They were wrong. We cannot win if we do not believe in ourselves. We were brought up to believe never, ever, to risk channeling our own energies into ourselves. And just think: We have still accomplished education, good, good parenting, kindness, beautiful lives. But we have been taught, from a time before we knew words, that it was wrong to believe in ourselves. That is what I am looking at now. Guilt, as a go to response. Self abnegation, as a go to response. The assumption, not only that the other guy is smarter or better prepared, but that to question the authority figure is a death defying action. These are the mindsets hurt into us, if we have been raised by maliciously narcissistic parents. Once we can see that you guys? We are free. Monitor emotional responses to the simplest things. Getting up in the morning. What is our self talk? How would it compare to the self talk of someone raised in a loving supportive environment. The difference will be the difference between Heaven and Hell. That is where we need to be, to address and heal what was done to us. Right there. Bree Brown's "Sit with the feelings. Do nothing. Note them and do nothing." works here. (Not a direct quote.) You will be amazed and appalled at the internal messages we have been hurt into. Yes, Leafy. Finding a way to be healthy would be valuable. But if we have been raised to assume destruction of self is appropriate, we will self-sabotage. If we can identify those places where we have been raised to sabotage ourselves, we can end it. Think of my mother: "Just don't think, Cedar." "Don't you dare." How could we ever have succeeded with those internal messages. Yet, we did. To an incredible degree, we did. We loved. We committed. These things should have been impossible for us but we did those things. We are doing the impossible. We can do this too. But D H is wanting me downstairs for dinner. I work tomorrow, and will be back Monday. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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