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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 679427" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am sorry your son was bullied in kindergarten, New Leaf. I think this is way more common than uncommon. If not vengeance, was there not anger?</p><p></p><p>I would think if my siblings were constantly mean to me, I would feel angry and I would want to get back at them in some way or another. Even if was just to stick my tongue out when their backs were turned, or to spit in their coke or something. Not that I would have done that but I might have thought about it. </p><p></p><p>I remember when I started psychotherapy many years ago, sometimes while I was driving I would think to myself: "Gee, I could run these pedestrians over." (I do not think I had ever had that thought before.) I did not want to run them over. I did not feel I would ever do it. I had never had those kinds of thoughts before, and I worried about them. So I mentioned this to the therapist and he responded: "<em>You never thought of that before</em>?" (Like I was abnormal when I did not have those thoughts.)</p><p></p><p>His perspective was that it was the most normal thing in the world for normal people to have aggressive thoughts...<em>but not act on them</em>.</p><p></p><p>When you think about it, that is the ideal way to be. Because it means that one is not afraid of one's power or potential, because one is confident that one will check any destructive behavior. Own aggressivity and confidence of being able to check it, but to be in control, either way. That is my goal. </p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 679427, member: 18958"] I am sorry your son was bullied in kindergarten, New Leaf. I think this is way more common than uncommon. If not vengeance, was there not anger? I would think if my siblings were constantly mean to me, I would feel angry and I would want to get back at them in some way or another. Even if was just to stick my tongue out when their backs were turned, or to spit in their coke or something. Not that I would have done that but I might have thought about it. I remember when I started psychotherapy many years ago, sometimes while I was driving I would think to myself: "Gee, I could run these pedestrians over." (I do not think I had ever had that thought before.) I did not want to run them over. I did not feel I would ever do it. I had never had those kinds of thoughts before, and I worried about them. So I mentioned this to the therapist and he responded: "[I]You never thought of that before[/I]?" (Like I was abnormal when I did not have those thoughts.) His perspective was that it was the most normal thing in the world for normal people to have aggressive thoughts...[I]but not act on them[/I]. When you think about it, that is the ideal way to be. Because it means that one is not afraid of one's power or potential, because one is confident that one will check any destructive behavior. Own aggressivity and confidence of being able to check it, but to be in control, either way. That is my goal. COPA [/QUOTE]
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