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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 679476" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa risked, Leafy. You began it, but Copa valued you, the children you work with, and herself, enough to respond honestly. She told you true things. That is a rare, and very special, quality of Copa's.</p><p></p><p>Stellar integrity. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>No.</p><p></p><p>You are choosing brave. You are choosing different patterns of response and coming into "Nothing to protect." I was reading about Martin Luther yesterday. "Here I stand. I can do no other." That may not be a direct quote. But that was the gist. The "Here I stand." part ~ that is a direct quote.</p><p></p><p>And he changed the world. </p><p></p><p>Here I stand. Innards exposed.</p><p></p><p>Nothing to protect.</p><p></p><p><em>I can do no other.</em></p><p></p><p>Leafy, this is what we do, here. We write the things that matter. There is risk in it, but unless we can write the words that matter <em>and hear the responses</em>, we cannot heal. We learn our own truths, here. Sharing with one another, risking with and for and through one another, we reset the courses of our lives. It is less what one of the others of us will think of us than it is about learning how we think of ourselves. That you feel vulnerable and risked anyway is a measure of how determined you are to come through this. I hear you backtracking a little, heard you fall into the old patterns for a minute there, but you chose. You came through naked.</p><p></p><p>Good. I know that is a hard thing. </p><p></p><p>We each have been there too, Leafy. You are doing well, staying balanced, finding value in yourself, in the child you were, and in the person you intend to reclaim.</p><p></p><p>I think you are doing good work.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Both good and bad. For children, and for one another as adults too, our highest function may be the capacity to model how to manage human. Naming where a human is along that continuum at any given moment is not helpful or productive. How we see and are seen, especially when we are children, matters very much. Especially for those working with children in a professional capacity, it is best to be aware of the incredible power we wield just by walking around as adults. </p><p></p><p>It takes courage to be human. </p><p></p><p>I think it does.</p><p> </p><p>Copa's choice to respond honestly took courage and integrity, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>Through her courage, you can grow.</p><p></p><p>If you choose.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. And we are overriding those things we were taught about ourselves, now. And that matters, and is sacred ground.</p><p></p><p>That's why we have to take our shoes off. </p><p></p><p>And go naked. And be afraid, and ashamed Leafy, so we can have a look at the why behind all of it and lay claim to the joy in all of it.</p><p></p><p>And this is a safe place to do that. But there are no safeguards. Each of us will believe as she believes, and each of us has to speak her truth, or none of us will get better. </p><p></p><p>It gets to be that we come to a place where we prefer naked. We prefer the risky interpretation. We want to know, and we are willing to look foolish, or unkind. (Like I always do when I am talking about my family. Like a broken record.)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is how it feels whenever we break through, Leafy. As we continue breaking through into deeper layers, these kinds of feelings intensify. That is what Copa meant (and I meant) when we would post about how to survive it and found the concepts of work and of Germany. But here is the best thing, Leafy: Three days from now, you will be so proud of your risking. You have planted a flag, have reclaimed territory of the self today. That strength, those hidden places where the hurt was so deep that you could not bear to know it ~ those energies are your own, now.</p><p></p><p>That is real change, Leafy. For you. It has so little to do with anyone else ~ even with your sibs. </p><p></p><p>Wait and see. This will happen, for you. This is the beginning of your healing, New Leaf. It feels so awful when we risk to bring those terrible ways we were hurt into feeling up for healing. But you did it!</p><p></p><p>There is more.</p><p></p><p>It becomes ever more painful.</p><p></p><p>You can pull back, stop the process, any time you choose to.</p><p></p><p>It helps me to understand that though I may not know how to do it, holding myself with compassion ~ honest oh man I look ugly and feel worse and acceptance of that ~ that seems to be how it works.</p><p></p><p>We are safe here, and are so fortunate in that.</p><p></p><p>Because we are anonymous, we are safe, here.</p><p></p><p>I am happy for you, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 679476, member: 17461"] Copa risked, Leafy. You began it, but Copa valued you, the children you work with, and herself, enough to respond honestly. She told you true things. That is a rare, and very special, quality of Copa's. Stellar integrity. No. You are choosing brave. You are choosing different patterns of response and coming into "Nothing to protect." I was reading about Martin Luther yesterday. "Here I stand. I can do no other." That may not be a direct quote. But that was the gist. The "Here I stand." part ~ that is a direct quote. And he changed the world. Here I stand. Innards exposed. Nothing to protect. [I]I can do no other.[/I] Leafy, this is what we do, here. We write the things that matter. There is risk in it, but unless we can write the words that matter [I]and hear the responses[/I], we cannot heal. We learn our own truths, here. Sharing with one another, risking with and for and through one another, we reset the courses of our lives. It is less what one of the others of us will think of us than it is about learning how we think of ourselves. That you feel vulnerable and risked anyway is a measure of how determined you are to come through this. I hear you backtracking a little, heard you fall into the old patterns for a minute there, but you chose. You came through naked. Good. I know that is a hard thing. We each have been there too, Leafy. You are doing well, staying balanced, finding value in yourself, in the child you were, and in the person you intend to reclaim. I think you are doing good work. Both good and bad. For children, and for one another as adults too, our highest function may be the capacity to model how to manage human. Naming where a human is along that continuum at any given moment is not helpful or productive. How we see and are seen, especially when we are children, matters very much. Especially for those working with children in a professional capacity, it is best to be aware of the incredible power we wield just by walking around as adults. It takes courage to be human. I think it does. Copa's choice to respond honestly took courage and integrity, Leafy. Through her courage, you can grow. If you choose. Yes. And we are overriding those things we were taught about ourselves, now. And that matters, and is sacred ground. That's why we have to take our shoes off. And go naked. And be afraid, and ashamed Leafy, so we can have a look at the why behind all of it and lay claim to the joy in all of it. And this is a safe place to do that. But there are no safeguards. Each of us will believe as she believes, and each of us has to speak her truth, or none of us will get better. It gets to be that we come to a place where we prefer naked. We prefer the risky interpretation. We want to know, and we are willing to look foolish, or unkind. (Like I always do when I am talking about my family. Like a broken record.) This is how it feels whenever we break through, Leafy. As we continue breaking through into deeper layers, these kinds of feelings intensify. That is what Copa meant (and I meant) when we would post about how to survive it and found the concepts of work and of Germany. But here is the best thing, Leafy: Three days from now, you will be so proud of your risking. You have planted a flag, have reclaimed territory of the self today. That strength, those hidden places where the hurt was so deep that you could not bear to know it ~ those energies are your own, now. That is real change, Leafy. For you. It has so little to do with anyone else ~ even with your sibs. Wait and see. This will happen, for you. This is the beginning of your healing, New Leaf. It feels so awful when we risk to bring those terrible ways we were hurt into feeling up for healing. But you did it! There is more. It becomes ever more painful. You can pull back, stop the process, any time you choose to. It helps me to understand that though I may not know how to do it, holding myself with compassion ~ honest oh man I look ugly and feel worse and acceptance of that ~ that seems to be how it works. We are safe here, and are so fortunate in that. Because we are anonymous, we are safe, here. I am happy for you, Leafy. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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