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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 680324" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Well, I am at the library. I was able to read your first post Cedar, and part of the second, only. I have a great deal to say but the tablet completely broke and will not even turn on. Saturday I bought a laptop online and I am praying it comes soon.</p><p></p><p>You see, I think it will be different for each of us. What we did to keep a self. I mean it was Sophie's Choice. We had to choose between children so that one would live. One died. We are at work with a resurrection here. Nothing less than that. </p><p></p><p>There had to be buy in Cedar. But I do not think we knew we were so compromised. Because remember, this was the only world we knew. There was nothing else, no comparison to be made in those early years. That is why you are so perfectly attuned to your mother because you could only exist where she permitted it. Did you see the post last week with the Venn circles? I could not describe them because I had no working keyboard. You can google venn diagram and see what comes up. It is easier to look at it pictorially, rather than I describe it in words, The mother models a self to the child, by showing her what she permits and approves of, and what is forbidden. She shapes behavior and models a persona. The child constructs her personality in relation to the mother. Eventually, there is dissent. The child says no. Then negotiations begin.</p><p></p><p>I believe our mothers shared the singular characteristic of being absolutely fierce, rejecting and unforgiving negotiators. Like living with Donald Trump. I believe that at first there was absolutely no room what so ever for dissent on our part. But enter our imaginations. Dreaminess. Fantasy. Romanticism. Creativity. Inventiveness. I think that is the sphere where we became our own true selves. But even that was permeated with shame and fear. I think what we killed off was display, pride, overt will, a sense of security, the willingness to risk in public, etc. What was killed off was the public display of power and purpose. The overt Donald Trump. Because our mothers demanded we be subordinated. We developed secret lives like any enslaved people do. And from that came Jazz. But unfortunately it was secret. Because anything let loose would threaten the mother.</p><p></p><p>I have to go now because I have to do one more thing on the computer and the time is running out. I do not have the ability even to read along anymore until the new computer shows up.</p><p></p><p>Be well. Thank you.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 680324, member: 18958"] Well, I am at the library. I was able to read your first post Cedar, and part of the second, only. I have a great deal to say but the tablet completely broke and will not even turn on. Saturday I bought a laptop online and I am praying it comes soon. You see, I think it will be different for each of us. What we did to keep a self. I mean it was Sophie's Choice. We had to choose between children so that one would live. One died. We are at work with a resurrection here. Nothing less than that. There had to be buy in Cedar. But I do not think we knew we were so compromised. Because remember, this was the only world we knew. There was nothing else, no comparison to be made in those early years. That is why you are so perfectly attuned to your mother because you could only exist where she permitted it. Did you see the post last week with the Venn circles? I could not describe them because I had no working keyboard. You can google venn diagram and see what comes up. It is easier to look at it pictorially, rather than I describe it in words, The mother models a self to the child, by showing her what she permits and approves of, and what is forbidden. She shapes behavior and models a persona. The child constructs her personality in relation to the mother. Eventually, there is dissent. The child says no. Then negotiations begin. I believe our mothers shared the singular characteristic of being absolutely fierce, rejecting and unforgiving negotiators. Like living with Donald Trump. I believe that at first there was absolutely no room what so ever for dissent on our part. But enter our imaginations. Dreaminess. Fantasy. Romanticism. Creativity. Inventiveness. I think that is the sphere where we became our own true selves. But even that was permeated with shame and fear. I think what we killed off was display, pride, overt will, a sense of security, the willingness to risk in public, etc. What was killed off was the public display of power and purpose. The overt Donald Trump. Because our mothers demanded we be subordinated. We developed secret lives like any enslaved people do. And from that came Jazz. But unfortunately it was secret. Because anything let loose would threaten the mother. I have to go now because I have to do one more thing on the computer and the time is running out. I do not have the ability even to read along anymore until the new computer shows up. Be well. Thank you. COPA [/QUOTE]
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