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Ahh...Christmas.
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 745072" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>As of today, it's been a year since we last saw J. We flew him home last New Year's weekend in order to give him our extra car and a trunkful of groceries to drive back to Denver with. Now, a year later, he is blocked from both my phone and my husband's phone. He called last Wednesday and was just going on and on in one of his abusive tirades about 1) our refusal to co-sign a car loan for him and how utterly selfish we are, and 2) how selfish and miserable we are as people because we moved from time to time as he as growing up and made him live in sh**tty towns, etc. There was no way to have a conversation with him; he literally would interrupt and talk over me and kept circling around to the same themes (see above). When he wasn't calling me, he was sending one abusive text after another, as well as to my husband. I felt like my heart was being stomped to death. I've never experienced domestic abuse, but I had an inkling of what a domestic abuse victim feels like--beaten down, self-doubting, depressed. So I told him I was blocking him and I did. </p><p>Well, today I'm so sad. I don't know if I'll ever see him again. His birthday a week from today. I'm thinking I might unblock him long enough to call and wish him a happy birthday and then get off the phone and re-block it. Sometimes, the grief feels overwhelming, like a strong wave hitting me broadside. I just want my son back, and I can't have that because it's not up to me, and I just want this hurt to stop. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for letting me vent. My husband doesn't like to talk about too much. He too is grieving. I have an appointment with a therapist on my son's birthday next week. I'm trying to compile a list of questions to help me in navigating this loss in our lives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 745072, member: 22597"] As of today, it's been a year since we last saw J. We flew him home last New Year's weekend in order to give him our extra car and a trunkful of groceries to drive back to Denver with. Now, a year later, he is blocked from both my phone and my husband's phone. He called last Wednesday and was just going on and on in one of his abusive tirades about 1) our refusal to co-sign a car loan for him and how utterly selfish we are, and 2) how selfish and miserable we are as people because we moved from time to time as he as growing up and made him live in sh**tty towns, etc. There was no way to have a conversation with him; he literally would interrupt and talk over me and kept circling around to the same themes (see above). When he wasn't calling me, he was sending one abusive text after another, as well as to my husband. I felt like my heart was being stomped to death. I've never experienced domestic abuse, but I had an inkling of what a domestic abuse victim feels like--beaten down, self-doubting, depressed. So I told him I was blocking him and I did. Well, today I'm so sad. I don't know if I'll ever see him again. His birthday a week from today. I'm thinking I might unblock him long enough to call and wish him a happy birthday and then get off the phone and re-block it. Sometimes, the grief feels overwhelming, like a strong wave hitting me broadside. I just want my son back, and I can't have that because it's not up to me, and I just want this hurt to stop. Thanks for letting me vent. My husband doesn't like to talk about too much. He too is grieving. I have an appointment with a therapist on my son's birthday next week. I'm trying to compile a list of questions to help me in navigating this loss in our lives. [/QUOTE]
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