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All my fault
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<blockquote data-quote="Rhonda" data-source="post: 252761" data-attributes="member: 6732"><p>I am certainly not a professional. Just a Mom. But Lordy girl, I have been there done what you are doing. You are not the cause or the blame, at least I don't think so.. As far as parenting goes, do any of us know how to do it right? I have seen some great parents raise some pretty awful kids and seen some really bad ones (and I mean really bad) who's kids turned out beautifully. </p><p> </p><p>Don't beat yourself up. Today is today. The book you have is great and there is another to go with it if you look up Ross Greene on Amazon. His approach is great, it is hard to do until you get used to it. Do IT! Learn to live it. It gets easier with practice. I would give anything if I had this book when mine was 4. She was 17 when I got it and it was too late to do much.</p><p> </p><p>Do like the others said and find the right doctor. Send an email to Dr. Greene or his office requesting therapists in your area that could coach you in his methods. Or maybe you could even have weekly telephone consults with one. I know of one in Georgia but he does not do telephone because insurance in GA does not count it as a visit for him.. But it may be different for your area. Just keep trying, don't give up.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe you should not ask your son to do something. Wait until you have the time to make it happen and tell him.. Like, say "it is time to get dressed" then walk over and pick up the clothes and say "do you want to put this on by your self or do you want me to help with it?" If he acts out, calmly say "honey it is ok, I will help, you dont have to get angry" and put his shirt on.... sort of like just ignoring his behavior or assuming the behavior was the answer to your question. If he realizes (if) that his behavior always gets him the thing he did not want then maybe (just maybe) he will learn another way of dealing with the situation. </p><p> </p><p>No child is always compliant and many times with mine, I did not discuss or question I just did. I would get ready to go and go in her room and dress her and pick her up and walk out. I would ignore any negative behavior and stay focused on something else so that it at least appeared that I was ignoring her bad behavior. I only responded to positive behavior. That worked really well most of the time. But it was hard.</p><p> </p><p>Hope you find the help you need. Just keep trying!</p><p> </p><p>Hugs..</p><p>Rhonda</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rhonda, post: 252761, member: 6732"] I am certainly not a professional. Just a Mom. But Lordy girl, I have been there done what you are doing. You are not the cause or the blame, at least I don't think so.. As far as parenting goes, do any of us know how to do it right? I have seen some great parents raise some pretty awful kids and seen some really bad ones (and I mean really bad) who's kids turned out beautifully. Don't beat yourself up. Today is today. The book you have is great and there is another to go with it if you look up Ross Greene on Amazon. His approach is great, it is hard to do until you get used to it. Do IT! Learn to live it. It gets easier with practice. I would give anything if I had this book when mine was 4. She was 17 when I got it and it was too late to do much. Do like the others said and find the right doctor. Send an email to Dr. Greene or his office requesting therapists in your area that could coach you in his methods. Or maybe you could even have weekly telephone consults with one. I know of one in Georgia but he does not do telephone because insurance in GA does not count it as a visit for him.. But it may be different for your area. Just keep trying, don't give up. Maybe you should not ask your son to do something. Wait until you have the time to make it happen and tell him.. Like, say "it is time to get dressed" then walk over and pick up the clothes and say "do you want to put this on by your self or do you want me to help with it?" If he acts out, calmly say "honey it is ok, I will help, you dont have to get angry" and put his shirt on.... sort of like just ignoring his behavior or assuming the behavior was the answer to your question. If he realizes (if) that his behavior always gets him the thing he did not want then maybe (just maybe) he will learn another way of dealing with the situation. No child is always compliant and many times with mine, I did not discuss or question I just did. I would get ready to go and go in her room and dress her and pick her up and walk out. I would ignore any negative behavior and stay focused on something else so that it at least appeared that I was ignoring her bad behavior. I only responded to positive behavior. That worked really well most of the time. But it was hard. Hope you find the help you need. Just keep trying! Hugs.. Rhonda [/QUOTE]
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