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Parent Emeritus
All My Kids Are 18+ So Now What?
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<blockquote data-quote="Wishing" data-source="post: 196883" data-attributes="member: 1782"><p>I thought when difficult child would be 18 my job growing him up with every bit of mental and emotional strength I have now I could just relax and he would be the person I always wanted him to be. Something like Hi Mom I'm home do you want to go to mcd's and hang out. Noooo, He needs me mainly for money to go out with friends 99&#37; of the time and when instead of school problems now it is car accidents ,girl friends and me struggling to convince him not get involved with drinking with friends and mj . Me dum dum who invested money in old cars only to see him crash them up. I know this sounds stupid in two years I have spent $40,000 on cars for him. I had to not fix one of the cars bc his insurance I was told would go up to $6000. I feel I'm in this big struggle to keep him going to junior college and stay there especially since he has decided to quit his medications. He is convinced that the ritalin and the resperidol the dr had him on has too many side effects to stay on it.He wants no medications So mornings are almost impossible bc of his irratibility and I have to deal a lot with drama and disrespect knowing he would do better on medications but now I see a lot of unfocused activity. Wanting to play about 40 hours a week . It is harder for me to get him to do chores now than it was when he was 10 and he is 18. I want so much to see him on the right path but me wanting it for him does not translate to him picking up the ball. It seems like it is more struggle struggle struggle. Waiting for the phone to ring tick tock tick tock is there trouble ahead. I think the toughest part is that in order to survive they need practical jobs that pay a reasonable salary that are good for his temperament and get into interst groups they feel good about and stay on the right path in life. You cannot make it on your own without this and now he decides all this! But he cannot seem to see what I see. My life is basically going around in circles. I continue on as a unpaid safety officer.Junior fire marshall. That is what I see for the next 5 years at least.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wishing, post: 196883, member: 1782"] I thought when difficult child would be 18 my job growing him up with every bit of mental and emotional strength I have now I could just relax and he would be the person I always wanted him to be. Something like Hi Mom I'm home do you want to go to mcd's and hang out. Noooo, He needs me mainly for money to go out with friends 99% of the time and when instead of school problems now it is car accidents ,girl friends and me struggling to convince him not get involved with drinking with friends and mj . Me dum dum who invested money in old cars only to see him crash them up. I know this sounds stupid in two years I have spent $40,000 on cars for him. I had to not fix one of the cars bc his insurance I was told would go up to $6000. I feel I'm in this big struggle to keep him going to junior college and stay there especially since he has decided to quit his medications. He is convinced that the ritalin and the resperidol the dr had him on has too many side effects to stay on it.He wants no medications So mornings are almost impossible bc of his irratibility and I have to deal a lot with drama and disrespect knowing he would do better on medications but now I see a lot of unfocused activity. Wanting to play about 40 hours a week . It is harder for me to get him to do chores now than it was when he was 10 and he is 18. I want so much to see him on the right path but me wanting it for him does not translate to him picking up the ball. It seems like it is more struggle struggle struggle. Waiting for the phone to ring tick tock tick tock is there trouble ahead. I think the toughest part is that in order to survive they need practical jobs that pay a reasonable salary that are good for his temperament and get into interst groups they feel good about and stay on the right path in life. You cannot make it on your own without this and now he decides all this! But he cannot seem to see what I see. My life is basically going around in circles. I continue on as a unpaid safety officer.Junior fire marshall. That is what I see for the next 5 years at least. [/QUOTE]
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All My Kids Are 18+ So Now What?
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