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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 140371" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and welcome.</p><p>Has your daughter's friend changed since her behavior did? Are they good or troubled kids? No matter what is going on, that does NOT mean you aren't caring parents. But...</p><p>My first concern, actually, would be the drinking and drugs. Whatever you know is likely only the tip of the iceberg. Yeah, I've been there, and I thought my daughter was only dabbling with pot too, but now that she's clean it turns out she has done SO MUCH MORE. I wouldn't blame it on her place in the community. She is probably deeper into this stuff than you think and you only have a few years left to get her help. in my opinion this isn't about how you can love this stranger. You DO love her or you wouldn't be here. It is about getting her the appropriate help. </p><p>Although many drugs show up on drug tests, many don't. Also, if kids know in advance they will be tested, they tend to abstain. At any rate, your daughter has changed a lot and that's a red flag. Has she ever been evaluated by a psychiatrist? Unfortunately, at her age the kids can be tricky, withhold info, lie, and make it hard for diagnoses, but it's worth a try. Others will be a long, but this behavior sends up red flags to me because I've been there. My daughter did everything from pot to a few shots of heroin (we found out after she quit), and she still managed to keep her grades up and she held down a job (she claims the speed she took made her a better worker). I wish I'd known more then. Kids can really be sneaky when they are doing the forbidden. </p><p>I wish you luck and, again, welcome <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 140371, member: 1550"] Hi there and welcome. Has your daughter's friend changed since her behavior did? Are they good or troubled kids? No matter what is going on, that does NOT mean you aren't caring parents. But... My first concern, actually, would be the drinking and drugs. Whatever you know is likely only the tip of the iceberg. Yeah, I've been there, and I thought my daughter was only dabbling with pot too, but now that she's clean it turns out she has done SO MUCH MORE. I wouldn't blame it on her place in the community. She is probably deeper into this stuff than you think and you only have a few years left to get her help. in my opinion this isn't about how you can love this stranger. You DO love her or you wouldn't be here. It is about getting her the appropriate help. Although many drugs show up on drug tests, many don't. Also, if kids know in advance they will be tested, they tend to abstain. At any rate, your daughter has changed a lot and that's a red flag. Has she ever been evaluated by a psychiatrist? Unfortunately, at her age the kids can be tricky, withhold info, lie, and make it hard for diagnoses, but it's worth a try. Others will be a long, but this behavior sends up red flags to me because I've been there. My daughter did everything from pot to a few shots of heroin (we found out after she quit), and she still managed to keep her grades up and she held down a job (she claims the speed she took made her a better worker). I wish I'd known more then. Kids can really be sneaky when they are doing the forbidden. I wish you luck and, again, welcome :) [/QUOTE]
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