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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 11644" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think it's normal, especially before they meet their bio. families. I remember my best friend who was adopted and she said the same thing. She met her bio. family at age 37 and has never been sorry, but she doesn't feel a real part of them eithr. I have to notate that her adoptive family wasn't great--her mom is an alcoholic and she had a lot of foster kids in and out, which she didn't like. She thought "I'm just like the rest, I just lasted longer." That made me think hard because, at the time, we were doing foster care. My Korean daughter has said, "Nobody wanted me. waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh." and "I want to go find my REAL mom" I just blow it off. We're really close and recently, she has told me how lucky she feels because there are so many messed up families. We never made a big deal out of it when the kids expressed a desire to know their bio. relatives. I think it's natural. As my friend says to me, "At least, when I look in the mirror, now I know who I look like." She is well over being enamored with her bio. relatives and sees the cracks in their lives. I'd let her talk about it with therapist, but I really don't believe in freaking out about it, nor do I feel it is in any way a statement of how much we love our kids or how well we parent them. in my opinion it's just a natural curiousity, and more and more adoptees really do meet their bio. relatives these days, with mixed results. My friend is the same race as her biol. relatives. She is even the same nationality (Irish). She was still obsessed with "I don't belong" when I first met her, and it didn't end until she did meet them. I think it's a universal adoptive thing. From my experience, girls seem more upset over it than boys, but could be that they just hide it better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 11644, member: 1550"] I think it's normal, especially before they meet their bio. families. I remember my best friend who was adopted and she said the same thing. She met her bio. family at age 37 and has never been sorry, but she doesn't feel a real part of them eithr. I have to notate that her adoptive family wasn't great--her mom is an alcoholic and she had a lot of foster kids in and out, which she didn't like. She thought "I'm just like the rest, I just lasted longer." That made me think hard because, at the time, we were doing foster care. My Korean daughter has said, "Nobody wanted me. waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh." and "I want to go find my REAL mom" I just blow it off. We're really close and recently, she has told me how lucky she feels because there are so many messed up families. We never made a big deal out of it when the kids expressed a desire to know their bio. relatives. I think it's natural. As my friend says to me, "At least, when I look in the mirror, now I know who I look like." She is well over being enamored with her bio. relatives and sees the cracks in their lives. I'd let her talk about it with therapist, but I really don't believe in freaking out about it, nor do I feel it is in any way a statement of how much we love our kids or how well we parent them. in my opinion it's just a natural curiousity, and more and more adoptees really do meet their bio. relatives these days, with mixed results. My friend is the same race as her biol. relatives. She is even the same nationality (Irish). She was still obsessed with "I don't belong" when I first met her, and it didn't end until she did meet them. I think it's a universal adoptive thing. From my experience, girls seem more upset over it than boys, but could be that they just hide it better. [/QUOTE]
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